Britney Spears did a pop-in rehab visit, shaved her head and then showed up at a Los Angeles area tattoo parlor last night to get inked.

To quote Jim Morrison,

Are you a lucky little lady in the city of light
Or just another lost angel…city of night

Rehab, shaved head, fresh tattoo all in one day. Girlfriend knows how to stir up the tabloid pot.

Speaking of girlfriends, I think it’s time for a serious intervention of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood variety. Or perhaps Brit is laughing her ass off at all of us and is just doing some research for an Oscar shoe-in movie role. Or maybe she’s finding her niche in the whole hipster parent genre.

What do you think about Brit’s behavior? She has gone through a divorce and had back to back babies within a year which is a tremendous amount of stress for anyone, famous or not. Maybe she’s just having fun and trying to shake off the bad karma of the past year. My mom went the wholesome born again Christian, organic gardening, raising chickens route after she and my dad divorced when I was 7. I don’t think my little hometown could handle any bald, tattooed women any way.

It’s an unflattering photograph of Demi Moore!

Via Celebrity Moms, which is one of my “guilty pleasure” blogs.

Demi, honey, whatever Pilates neck strengthening maneuvers you’re doing are working a little too well.

I had my “annual” eye doctor’s exam (I haven’t been since March 2005 when I was on the verge of giving birth to Miss Amelia.) I’m nearsighted but amazingly my left eye, which has always been my weakest, has improved slightly since my last appointment! Hey, maybe the downhill slide toward 40 isn’t so bad?

On the way to the optometrist’s I heard Toby Keith’s new song, “High Maintenance Woman.” While I don’t consider myself high maintenance (I don’t think I’ve had a professional manicure since my wedding day), I am pretty girly. I mean only a girly girl would get excited to see eyewear by Candies and Vera Bradley at the optometrist’s, right? I checked out some new eyeglass frames. My “nerds” are really only for nighttime wearing, but I’d like to get some hip new glasses although I primarily wear my contact lenses.

So are you high maintenance, low maintenance, or do you consider yourself middle-of-the-road maintenance like me?

I have a secret indulgence. I love celebrity gossip.

It’s a guilty pleasure that can be traced back to when I was a little girl and would look at my grandmother’s neatly stacked copies of National Enquirer and Star on the coffee table, always folded so that you couldn’t see the covers and placed next to her glass candy dish stocked with gummy orange wedges.

So when the Britney Spears divorce headline appeared on my computer Tuesday, I had to read more. Britney keeps you guessing. She’s like the white trash Madonna (pop star Madonna, not that Madonna), constantly reinventing herself.

Apparently Britney went shopping at the GAP and then ice skating at Rockefeller Center just hours after she filed for divorce from husband Kevin Federline. That’s normal, right? And did you know that the Britney post-divorce sweater at the GAP can be yours, although you might want to actually put a shirt on under it unless your trying to get a waitress gig at Hooters.

I don’t know who Britney’s publicist is, and I’m sure she has a team of PR handlers, but you’ve got to admit she’s been playing the paparazzi this week to the tune of Gloria Gaynor’s “I Will Survive.” I had my doubts in Team Britney when she did the Matt Lauer interview earlier this year and smacked a wad of gum like a Piggly Wiggly checkout girl but someone had to orchestrate the David Letterman appearance Monday where she actually looked somewhat sophisticated (click here to find out all about her makeup that evening), the filing of the divorce papers Tuesday, the post divorce paper filing shopping spree at the GAP, AND the ice skating. She also carefully timed the divorce, as she filed exactly two years and one month from the date of her official marriage, on Oct. 6, 2004. The prenup agreement apparently includes increases for Kevin Federline for every year of their marriage with a 30-day grace period.

And now K-Fed is retaliating and seeking custody of their two small sons who are, unfortunately, the real victims of this divorce, but I have no doubt that Team Brit will try to raise those boys up right.

In summary, Britney’s guide to workin’ the divorce bullet points:

timing is everything
get fit, get tan, get revenge (OK, she may very well have had some surgical help with her new post-baby body)
go blonder and shorter
appear to be unphased
work the talk show circuit
buy something off the rack to appeal to the suburban diva
and check and recheck the details of your prenup

I raise my bag of Cheetos to Britney and her PR team.

So, tell me. Have you ever seen Hank Williams Jr. sans sunglasses? Also, despite the fact that I’ve never owned a Hank Jr. CD in my life, the words to All My Rowdy Friends, Country Boy Can Survive and Family Tradition are permanently etched in my brain. The opening strains are like a subliminal call of the redneck urging me to drink Bud from a can and shout yee haw at the top of my lungs. I think it’s some sort of high school field party post traumatic syndrome. Sweet Home Alabama is another Southern anthem that gets me going.

Any way, I was surprised to see Bocephus not wearing his shades as he got rowdy following the post-Nashville nuptials of his buddy Kid Rock to Pamela Anderson. What’s next? Kid Rock not wearing a broken-in wife beater? Who knows. Kid Rock may pull a Kfed and sign a modeling contract…maybe for Hanes?

Say what you like about Britney Spears, but I love this photograph of a newly brunette Britney and her adorable son, Sean Preston, from the August issue of Harper’s Bazaar via the Popsugar celebrity gossip blog. And is it just me, or does she look slightly like Katie Holmes here?

Did you have any professional portraits made while you were pregnant? A friend of mine had breathtaking black-and-white pregnancy portraits taken and some of the shots included her with her older sister, who was also pregnant. During the latter part of my first pregnancy I never felt exceptionally pretty or womanly. I felt fat. I didn’t have the pregnant “glow.” I had acne. Although I was overjoyed with the thought of having our daughter, I didn’t feel my best physically. Now during my second pregnancy I took better care of myself, watched my diet and gained less weight and retained less water. I actually had ankles during my entire pregnancy and my fingers didn’t feel like fat vienna sausages.

Personally I’m glad we live in a day and age when pregnant women are considered en vogue enough to grace the cover of a fashion magazine. The whole image of pregnancy being “cool” has been boosted by the popularity of celebrity moms, from Gwen Stefani to Heidi Klum. Maternity clothes have come a long way from matronly mumus to stylish designers making fashionable maternity wear maintstream (thank you Liz Lange!) And while Britney is no Demi Moore (remember her pregnancy photos taken by celebrity photographer Annie Liebovitz for a 1991 Vanity Fair cover), I think the photos are lovely. At least she’s not smacking gum. Now the Matt Lauer interview? I couldn’t bring myself to watch it because I couldn’t get past the gum and the country girl act and the outfit, which looked like it was straight off the rack from WalMart (not cutting on WalMart or cheap clothing in general as most of my clothes are from TJ Maxx or Target). Now why couldn’t girlfriend have worn something cute like this little number from Pea in the Pod? Only her stylist knows.

“Oh, God love her.” My exact sentiment as I watched a very pregnant women walk into Publix at lunch today while carrying her toddler and holding hands with one of her two other little girls. I can’t imagine being pregnant in this heat and watching after two small children.

“It’s just a store.” This was the hubby’s response when I told him that I was looking at a Flickr gallery of a new Super Target (courtesy of Miss Zoot.) Obviously, he does not understand the hypnotic allure of Tar-jay and what would possess a grown woman to look at another grown woman’s photos of a store that does not exist in our town. Actually maybe that is a little weird.

I really liked a quote I saw from actress Kate Beckinsale on the cover of the new Redbook magazine while in the checkout line at Publix. Something along the lines of “Just because you’re a mom, doesn’t mean you have to stop being sexy.” However, after looking up the article online and reading about her fabulous beachfront Malibu home, her nanny, her stylist, and her assistant, etc., it was a bit tough for me to relate to good ole Kate being “down-to-earth” as Redbook described, ya know?

The following is an excerpt from the Beckinsale interview…you tell me if you think this is “down-to-earth.”

She’s Got the Look
Kate’s stylist came prepared with many designer clothing options including Missoni, Calvin Klein, Ralph Lauren — and tons of shoes, enough to line an entire wall of the house! As far as Kate was concerned, everything she tried on was a winner — gauzy blouses, sexy white tank tops, super soft T-shirts and lacy dresses were all big hits. She liked them so much, she decided to buy everything she tried on — even the shoes!

Hello…Redbook? What are you thinking? Please hire me as a freelance writer to do some stories on real life down-to-earth moms. There are some great ones out there.

Busy, busy, busy. Work, work, work. Coffee, coffee, coffee.

Here’s something to amuse you. Connie Chung appears to be channeling Marilyn Monroe. She also appears to be three sheets to the wind. And, what’s with the guy just sitting there and not playing the piano? There needs to be background music because this entire thing is painful. This was her swan song on Saturday’s finale of MSNBC’s “Weekends with Maury & Connie.” And it’s the most popular video this week on You Tube. You’ll see why. It’s like watching bad karaoke in broad daylight completely sober.

We took Amelia to an ENT specialist today downtown and the verdict is tubes. July 3 is T Day. That actually works out very well since I am off July 4th and can give her lots of TLC. (And could I possibly use any more acronyms?) My big question is, do we buy special ear plugs for her or just use cotton balls swabbed with a bit of Vaseline to keep her ears dry during bathtime as the nurse suggested? At 15 months old, she’s not yet mastered the ability to follow directions and she is a wild little curly haired mermaid in the bath, especially when I am rinsing her hair. So if you have experienced tubes with your kids and have any wisdom to pass on as far as keeping ears dry during bathtime, please let me know. The thought of not washing her hair for 12 to 18 months is tempting, but that’s just not going to work, unless we go for dreadlocks. Any way, according to her pediatrician and the ENT specialist she is a great candidate for tubes. At 15 months (and one week…today!) she is also soaking up language like a sponge and now pointing at everything and asking, “Dat?” Her actual vocabulary, what we can understand, is still pretty small but I think that once her ears are clear for the first time in months that she’ll start talking even more.

In other random thoughts, I actually uttered the words, “Ya’ll watch Fat Bug and make sure she doesn’t climb into the fireplace” while I was making a down home dinner of fresh veggies (yea for home grown zucchini and squash and tomatoes), hoe cakes, and white beans. You can take the girl out of the country, but you can’t take the country out of the girl.

And, in complete and utter randomness, if this couple ever has a baby, it may be the world’s funniest child. One of the most hilarious pregnancy books I ever read was Jenny McCarthy’s “Belly Laughs.” It made the “What to Expect” pregnancy Bible read like the Farmer’s Almanac.