Yesterday as I did some serious white girl dance moves through the house, putting away folded pastel cotton turtlenecks and the hubby’s briefs while Groove is in the Heart by Deee-Lite blared from our stereo speakers I asked myself:

When am I going to grow up?

Any way, that is neither here nor there, because I have an excuse to post this smokin’ photo of an actor who is my age who may have to grow up just a little now that he is going to be a daddy.

Did you have to do a lot of growing up when you became a parent? I’ll never forget the pat explanation one of my girlfriends gave about what life was like once you became a parent. “Well it’s not like you all go out and party every weekend any more, so your life doesn’t really change that much.” In retrospect that oversimplification of life after kids seems really comical. This was also my friend who told me about the mesh panties they hand you after you have a baby, God bless her. At least she was candid about the impending state of my nether regions.

I was almost 32 when I had Miss C and I was as ready as I could possibly be. The hubby and I had been married for five years when I got pregnant. We had the mortgage, the ranch style house with a fenced-in backyard, and we shopped at Home Depot and WalMart. It was time.

I had a few years in my early 20s of going out every weekend with my roommate to see local bands, but working full-time and paying rent quickly made being responsible, and not spending all my hard earned money on overpriced drinks, appealing. Settling down and becoming a homebody happened years before I became a mother, not afterwards.

What about you? Did becoming a parent force you to “settle down?”

It’s good to see the Spears family finally getting something right. Wait, Dr. Phil, riding on the bedraggled coattails of a celebrity’s demise? Ya think?

I’m not surprised that the media hype about pregnant baby sister Jamie Lynn boosted the audience for the Zoey 101 season finale to more than double (7.28 million viewers.)

I’m just relieved that Miss C and Miss A are blissfully unaware of who the Spears sisters are.

p.s. Speaking of shameless self-promotion a la Dr. Phil, don’t forget that tomorrow is the last day to enter the RoC skincare giveaway AND I’ll be posting a new review and giveaway for a hip water-resistant portable outdoor playmat from Go Baby!

The hubby and I firmly believe in educational TV for the girls.

For example, a little dose of Sponge Bob at night allows he and I to have some much coveted peace at the dinner table and exposes the girls to the wonders of ocean life and the importance of holding down a respectable job in the restaurant industry, not to mention the joy of cooking. That Sponge Bob whips up a mean krabby patty!

The hubby and the girls have a new post-dinner tradition of watching Tivo’d Price is Right reruns. During the opening “Come On Down!” segment, the girls jump up and down on the couch with more exuberance than I could possibly muster over the course of an entire week (unless, of course, I find a great pair of shoes on clearance at TJ Maxx or Target.) Miss C can actually recite, almost verbatim, the intro script. See, who says TV isn’t educational?

Their favorite part is the showcase, but it’s long-time host Bob Barker who has wooed the girls with his silver hair and good looks, especially Miss C.

Miss C walked up to me the other morning, sleepy and bleary eyed and said, quite seriously, “Mommy, I need to tell you a secret.”

I braced myself, thinking she wanted to confide in me some important revelation about kindergarten.

She leaned in to whisper in my ear.

“Last night I had a dream about Bob Barker.”

Yes, it’s true. She dreamed that she met Bob Barker and he gave her a big hug.

We’re already trying to track down an autographed picture of him for Miss C.

Brooke Shields spoofs an unlikely suburban soccer mom in this hilarious video clip I found via Back in Skinny Jeans (great blog…be sure to check it out).

OK, show of hands if you’ve ever cruised your local Walgreens drive thru with Nelly blaring and your kids jammin’ like junior gangstas in the back seat, doin’ the car seat boogie.

For a split second, you’re not just another mom behind the wheel of a well-loved SUV with a collection of kiddy CDs and empty fruit snack packets in the floorboard and dog nose prints on the back window.

And then…and then you realize the guy in the next lane is staring at you like you’re either nuts or he’s totally jealous he’s not having as much fun and you turn the music down and awkwardly ask your kids, “So, how was school today?”

Come on, I can’t be the only one! Peace out. Colt 45 take me away.

This entire post about former Beverly Hills 90210 star Ian Ziering reportedly being asked by Playgirl to pose nude cracks me up. I never watched much of 90210, but I was a junior in college when it debuted. I was more of a Melrose Place kind of gal. In fact, I think I still have the Melrose Place soundtrack on cassette tape.

Speaking of Playgirl, somewhere along with my collection of 4-H ribbons and school yearbooks is an autographed magazine filled with nekkid men that will surely be a family treasure to pass on to my girls when they are at the appropriate age.

I was working in the “branding and media services” department six years ago (that’s corporate BS jargonese for internal communications) at a large company here in Nashville. This was pre-kids when I still had that ambitious twinkle in my eye to get my grubby hands on the corporate ladder. My boss was named a VP and they restructured the management position over my department in such a way that it was actually not out of the question that I could qualify for it since I had 10 years’ of experience at the time.

Being little miss ambitious, I applied for the job and lo and behold I was flown out to Houston to interview with the head corporate person in charge of the new division. I did not get the job, but I came home with an autographed copy of Playgirl which was a great story to tell my all female co-workers.

During the flight I ended up sitting next to a very tall Italian man whose ego just about knocked me out of my seat. The Italian Stallion and I chit chatted for a while and he told me he was traveling on a book tour. This instantly got my attention since I am all about all things of the literary/publishing persuasion. I thought to myself, “OK, maybe this guy isn’t a shallow all brawn, no brain kind of guy.” He then proceeded to tell me he had recently been named the Playgirl magazine Man of the Year and he was touring the country. He pulled out his black satchel of goodies and the flight attendants were practically falling into his lap. Luckily the only thing he pulled out of the bag was a handful of magazines and a black Sharpie. There’s nothing more awkward then flipping through a magazine and looking at nude pictures of a man sitting right next to you. I mean what do you say? Nice tan? Who’s your stylist? How’d you get all that grease out of your hair?

Any way, I’ve always wondered what happened to the guy since he wanted to break into the entertainment industry. Ahem.

Last night was the first time that Caitlin sat and watched the Academy Awards with us. As she is currently obsessed with all things princess, she ooohed and aaaaahed over the glittery gowns. Her funny take for the night was when I commented “He looks good!” as George Clooney walked on stage. She replied, “He looks scary!”

For a few hours it’s fun to sit back and view Hollywood as the glitz and glamour mecca it once epitomized in its glorious heyday. Of course back in the days of Clark Gable and Lauren Bacall we didn’t have Ellen running around on stage in a velvet suit and tennis shoes. By the way, I thought Ellen did an awesome job. Two thumbs up!

Everyone and their hairdresser has an opinion on last night’s fashion dos and don’ts so I know you’re dying to read my take on them. Cough. I could take the high road and discuss at length how the Oscars made an effort to be Earth friendly by using recyclable materials for the evening’s programs and donating leftover gourmet goodies from last night’s Governor’s Ball to an L.A. area shelter, but then I’m no Tipper Gore.

My red carpet fab picks for the evening include:

Cate Blanchett, Penelope Cruz, Katie Holmes, and Reese Witherspoon.

My red carpet drab picks for the evening include:

Meryl Streep, Cameron Diaz, and Sarah Michelle Gellar.

Was that a trimmed out king size pillow case Gellar was wearing? (Photo via Instyle.) She is stunning, as always, but I just don’t get the dress. I have read rumors that she might be pregnant. But still…the dress/flour sack/cafe curtain/pillow case?

Speaking of Meryl Streep, at one of last night’s many after parties, Nicole Kidman, Oprah Winfrey and Mary J. Blige pause to have their palms read by the actress, who is apparently moonlighting on the Psychic Network. (Photo via PopSugar.)

Streep has been nominated 14 times for an Oscar and has won two (Best Actress: Sophie’s Choice and Best Actress in a Supporting Role: Kramer vs. Kramer), so what I think she’s really saying is she doesn’t give a shit about red carpet fashion after all these years. Bravo for her!

Forbes has an interesting article about how the stars get Red Carpet ready. Seriously, if I were going to attend an awards show I would pay good money to be sloughed, buffed, whitened, brightened, tightened, and toned.

Britney Spears did a pop-in rehab visit, shaved her head and then showed up at a Los Angeles area tattoo parlor last night to get inked.

To quote Jim Morrison,

Are you a lucky little lady in the city of light
Or just another lost angel…city of night

Rehab, shaved head, fresh tattoo all in one day. Girlfriend knows how to stir up the tabloid pot.

Speaking of girlfriends, I think it’s time for a serious intervention of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood variety. Or perhaps Brit is laughing her ass off at all of us and is just doing some research for an Oscar shoe-in movie role. Or maybe she’s finding her niche in the whole hipster parent genre.

What do you think about Brit’s behavior? She has gone through a divorce and had back to back babies within a year which is a tremendous amount of stress for anyone, famous or not. Maybe she’s just having fun and trying to shake off the bad karma of the past year. My mom went the wholesome born again Christian, organic gardening, raising chickens route after she and my dad divorced when I was 7. I don’t think my little hometown could handle any bald, tattooed women any way.