Blonde Moments

It’s A Nice Day For A White Bunny

May 16, 2012 By Blonde Mom 7 Comments

Last week I picked up a cute guy while out walking.

He’s short, hairy, and handsome, and he has this thing for raw carrots.

Meet Pepper, named by Miss C. He is now livin’ large after being homeless. But not with us. (The dogs would eat him in one bite.)

I work in a nice office park area and there’s a long stretch of sidewalk that runs behind a nearby Publix strip mall. I was zipping along when I spotted a small black and white creature nibbling grass at the edge of some trees and bushes about 30 feet in front of me. I was close enough to realize, thank you Jesus, that I wasn’t about to get sprayed by a skunk, and it didn’t take long to determine that it was a domesticated bunny. No doubt someone had gotten this little guy as an Easter surprise and decided they couldn’t keep him so they dropped him off in this nice commercial area with the Range Rover dealership and nail salon and Starbucks within hopping distance. Maybe they thought someone would see him and pick him up. Maybe that someone would be a woman who works in the area who is a TOTAL SUCKER FOR SMALL HELPLESS FURRY BEINGS.

I had on white capris (natch) so I rolled them up past my knees, knelt in the grass and talked to this bunny. Thankfully no one was driving by to see what a total weirdo I was but I couldn’t just walk off and leave a pet rabbit in such a commercial area. He’d never make it past summer.

“OK little guy if you let me pick you up, I will find you a home.”

I clenched my teeth and picked him up, bracing myself for him to scratch the living daylights out of my bare arms with his strong back feet. But he was as docile as can be. Obviously this little guy was not your garden variety brown garden rabbit. This guy was meant to be a pet. I’d spotted a somewhat nasty box in the nearby ditch and used it as a temporary crate to carry him back to my office and straight to my car and then had to figure what the heck to do next. I called my co-worker and gave her the 30-second “so I have this live rabbit in a box” update and she brought me my purse and keys and a fresh box to transport him in. I used a mesh seat back travel cushion for a makeshift bunny cage top on the box, and I cranked the AC in my car and the classical music during the 20-minute drive to my house to meet my dad. Mr. Bunny was not digging the confines of the box.

My dad took Mr. Bunny to the vet where he was treated for all his various and sundry hitchiker parasites and they determined that he was indeed a boy. (You haven’t lived until you’ve heard your 79-year-old dad say to you and your kids, “The vet had to just dig and dig down in the little guy’s fur to find his little bunny pecker it was so small.”)

Long story short, hubby made a call and our neighbors knew someone who is a huge small animal fan with a rescue rabbit and a rescue rat for pets. She met me at the house the next day with a small carrying case filled with fresh hay and it was love at first sight for both of them.

Farewell Mr. Bunny. Somewhere in heaven you have an awesome guardian angel and you also have a few people here on Earth who wanted to see you make it.

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Potty Paranoia For My Peeps

April 9, 2012 By Blonde Mom 6 Comments

The Easter Bunny visited our house while we were gone this weekend which proves that chocolate won’t let you down even if you’re not around to let it in the house. THANK GOD.

If you’re ever at any type of Tennessee tourist destination near the mountains you know there is fudge. There is fudge like there are corn dogs and funnel cakes at county fairs and hot dogs and nuclear orange nacho cheese at football games.

We just spent a fun family weekend in Chattanooga and on nearby Lookout Mountain. We normally don’t travel Easter weekend but our spring break was late this year and we had the opportunity to review a lovely hotel downtown. More about our trip next week but first, a funny story.

Where was I? Fudge.

Sunday afternoon we browsed around in a souvenir shop and bought a slice of fudge to go. Fudge to go sounds like a grand idea until your kids open it in a moving vehicle and you realize you have no napkins. Any way, the girls bit into their fudge and before I could shove mine in my mouth they’d already inhaled theirs. I’m in the savor the fudge camp so I was taking my time. And then I realized that the fudge was just, well, weird. The consistency was wrong. It was almost runny in the center. Now some candy is meant to be runny. Think Cadbury Egg center yumminess. Fudge is not in this category.

Hubby was driving so he was not partaking in our fudge tasting session. “This fudge doesn’t look right.” I held it up so he could see.

“That’s not right,” he agreed. “I wouldn’t eat any more.”

“I don’t think it’s done,” I added.

“Eating fudge like that can make you REALLY SICK can’t it?” Miss A chimed in from the back.

Great kid. You’re NOT helping.

“UH mom…I don’t want to get sick. Is that going to make us sick?” Miss C’s face was filled with worry and, bless her heart, she has inherited my propensity to fret.

I put the fudge away and assured the girls it was no big deal that we’d eaten a little but that we should just throw it out to be safe.

I took a swig of water and then another. The OCD mama in me was silently freaking out. We could NOT get sick. We still had an afternoon of fun planned plus a two-hour plus car ride home. I shoved my neurotic tendencies aside and we changed the subject and just enjoyed the beautiful Sunday drive. That was until we arrived at Ruby Falls, an incredible waterfall thousands of feet below the surface of the earth. As we stood in line to board an elevator that would take us down into the cave, the tour guide gave an ominous warning…well, ominous to anyone who might have pending bathroom issues. “Take your bathroom breaks now. There’s no bathroom in the cave and the tour is about one hour and 15 minutes,” the tour guide cautioned.

NO BATHROOM.

His words echoed in my brain.

And then I remembered.

RUNNY FUDGE.

I was getting paranoid again. Was my stomach rumbling? Or was it the kid next to me?

We all headed to the bathroom for a pee break, despite Miss A insisting that she did not have to go after I insisted that oh yes she was going to go whether she felt like she needed to or not, and soon we entered the elevator for the start of the cave tour.

As we made our descent into the bowels of the cave (pun intended), I said a small silent prayer that we wouldn’t need a bathroom.

Thankfully the good fudge fairies of the mountain were looking over us.

p.s. We were fine and the girls ended the night raiding their Easter Bunny loot he’d left at the house while we were traveling Sunday morning. Chocolate wins! As it should be.

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Filed Under: Blonde Moments, My Girls, Parenting 6 Comments

Sh*t My Couch Says

February 21, 2012 By Blonde Mom 6 Comments

I disassembled our couch Friday and vacuumed underneath the cushions since I couldn’t remember the last time I had done that or if I’d actually ever done it. Despite our sofa being only about 6 months old, its nooks and crannies are already a magnet for various and sundry items that I can pretty much blame on the small inhabitants of our house.

If our new couch could talk, I can only imagine what it would say:

I am not a dirty clothes hamper! Get that stinky sock away from me!

You’re not supposed to be eating on me….PUT THE PRETZELS DOWN.

Wait, did you just wipe your nose with that thing?

I appreciate you doing homework on me, but can you put away the dracula eraser and the sharp pencil?

Obviously the girls are not taking my high mama decree of NO EATING ON THE NEW COUCH too seriously although I suppose one pretzel isn’t too bad.

What you can’t see are a few Jack dog hair tumbleweeds that managed to make their way under the couch cushions even though he doesn’t get on the couch. Dog hair…it’s sneaky like that. And of course I didn’t find any money. Sniff!

Next in this series…

Sh*t The Interior Of My Car Says (Man if it could only talk, it would say a lot. It takes a lot of abuse. Ahem.)

What’s the weirdest thing you’ve ever found in your couch?

Have you seen this hilarious video from Mama Knows It All? If you’re a mom blogger you will definitely get a laugh out of it!