2012

Momsomnia

May 21, 2012 By Blonde Mom 3 Comments

Hubby snapped a picture of me as an exhausted new mother in August 2002. Yes that’s a dog and a baby in bed with me and you can see I’m passed out in my nursing bra. No I don’t recommend doing any of this but hubby was there as my spotter.

Young mothers who longingly desire nights of peaceful slumber as the holy grail of sanity? I’m here to burst your sweet dreams bubble.

Once your precious baby is sleeping through the night it is, for a short time at least, a slow cruise toward Snoozeville. Mastering the sleeping through the night milestone is nature’s way of making sure we don’t totally lose it from lack of sleep, because Lord knows we all need our sanity for the Terrible Twos. This dangling carrot of parenthood, however, eventually gets eaten by your own brain known as a disorder called momsomnia. This is a disorder that most typically affects parents of elementary school age kids.

Blame it on the end of year activities calendar on steroids. Blame it 40-something hormones. Blame it on that piece of dark chocolate you ate at 10 p.m. with a red wine chaser.

You can no longer remember the last time you slept through the night.

Your kids are well past the baby monitor and baby food days, but you’re once again not clocking in consecutive zzzzzs.

My endless Post It mental notes wake me up almost every night, or to be more precise, at 2 a.m.

This is a sampling of my stream of consciousness to do list during the end of school year crazies.

Did I sign that permission slip? Did we RSVP for that party? Did I miss that soccer tryout deadline? Did I pay for that field trip? Do I still owe the cafeteria two bucks? Do we have a dress down day this Friday or NEXT Friday? When am I supposed to bring snacks to school? Have I washed my hair this week? Who’s this guy in bed with me? (Ha…just checking to make sure you’re still reading. Simmer down.)

So here’s a little advice to all you young couples sans children.

SLEEP! Sleep like you’ve never slept before. Do not take sleep for granted. Some day you won’t be able to remember the last time you clocked in 8 consecutive hours of uninterrupted slumber and you’ll be a walking mom zombie, making turkey sandwiches and putting them in the bread bag with the rest of the loaf instead of into your kids’ lunch boxes.

Not that I’d ever do that.

Filed Under: Bad Hair Days, Parenting 3 Comments

It’s A Nice Day For A White Bunny

May 16, 2012 By Blonde Mom 6 Comments

Last week I picked up a cute guy while out walking.

He’s short, hairy, and handsome, and he has this thing for raw carrots.

Meet Pepper, named by Miss C. He is now livin’ large after being homeless. But not with us. (The dogs would eat him in one bite.)

I work in a nice office park area and there’s a long stretch of sidewalk that runs behind a nearby Publix strip mall. I was zipping along when I spotted a small black and white creature nibbling grass at the edge of some trees and bushes about 30 feet in front of me. I was close enough to realize, thank you Jesus, that I wasn’t about to get sprayed by a skunk, and it didn’t take long to determine that it was a domesticated bunny. No doubt someone had gotten this little guy as an Easter surprise and decided they couldn’t keep him so they dropped him off in this nice commercial area with the Range Rover dealership and nail salon and Starbucks within hopping distance. Maybe they thought someone would see him and pick him up. Maybe that someone would be a woman who works in the area who is a TOTAL SUCKER FOR SMALL HELPLESS FURRY BEINGS.

I had on white capris (natch) so I rolled them up past my knees, knelt in the grass and talked to this bunny. Thankfully no one was driving by to see what a total weirdo I was but I couldn’t just walk off and leave a pet rabbit in such a commercial area. He’d never make it past summer.

“OK little guy if you let me pick you up, I will find you a home.”

I clenched my teeth and picked him up, bracing myself for him to scratch the living daylights out of my bare arms with his strong back feet. But he was as docile as can be. Obviously this little guy was not your garden variety brown garden rabbit. This guy was meant to be a pet. I’d spotted a somewhat nasty box in the nearby ditch and used it as a temporary crate to carry him back to my office and straight to my car and then had to figure what the heck to do next. I called my co-worker and gave her the 30-second “so I have this live rabbit in a box” update and she brought me my purse and keys and a fresh box to transport him in. I used a mesh seat back travel cushion for a makeshift bunny cage top on the box, and I cranked the AC in my car and the classical music during the 20-minute drive to my house to meet my dad. Mr. Bunny was not digging the confines of the box.

My dad took Mr. Bunny to the vet where he was treated for all his various and sundry hitchiker parasites and they determined that he was indeed a boy. (You haven’t lived until you’ve heard your 79-year-old dad say to you and your kids, “The vet had to just dig and dig down in the little guy’s fur to find his little bunny pecker it was so small.”)

Long story short, hubby made a call and our neighbors knew someone who is a huge small animal fan with a rescue rabbit and a rescue rat for pets. She met me at the house the next day with a small carrying case filled with fresh hay and it was love at first sight for both of them.

Farewell Mr. Bunny. Somewhere in heaven you have an awesome guardian angel and you also have a few people here on Earth who wanted to see you make it.

Filed Under: Blonde Moments 6 Comments

Happy Mother’s Day!

May 13, 2012 By Blonde Mom 5 Comments

I hope everyone has a fantastic Mother’s Day! We’re spending time today with two great moms in my life—my amazing mom and my wonderful mother-in-law—not to mention my sisters and my sister-in-law. This motherhood business deserves a shout out!

It’s raining cats and dogs here in Nashville, but this is probably because one of my early Mother’s Day gifts yesterday was hubby and Miss C totally cleaning out my nasty SUV inside and out. It was pretty much a science experiment on wheels. You could probably survive on the crumbs of food that were on the floorboard for weeks and weeks. Any way, it seems like Murphy’s Law that when you wash a filthy car it rains, right?

Now that I have a clean car, I can fantasize about having a clean house. My friend Niri at Mommy Niri has featured a fun round up of blog friends with their Mother’s Day wishes. Check it out!

But first, here’s a great picture of me with my mom.

I love you mama!