I’m taking a little blog break and featuring some fabulous guest writers. Today’s guest post is by Kim-Marie Evans, a fellow writer at Traveling Mom and founder of The Luxury Travel Mom. Be sure to follow Kim-Marie on Twitter @LuxuryTravelMom. I’ll be back soon with pictures from a fantastic vacation in Cabo. Please make my guests feel at home. Thanks ya’ll!
Like all new moms, when I found out I was pregnant with my first baby, I read everything I could find. This was before blogs ladies; I went out and purchased actual books.
I had the whole series, “What to Expect the baby/toddler/school Years.” I got a PhD. in mommyhood. I knew it all. I was ready.
Then I finished nursing my first baby at age one (she’s 13 now and disgusted by the whole idea).
Suddenly, none of my regular bras fit. So weird, did they get all stretched out during the 2 years they were stored away?
So I went to a lingerie shop for some new not so stretched out bras.
I plucked the 36C’s off of the rack and headed off for the fitting room.
These were obviously also nasty old bras that must have gotten stretched out hanging on those racks because they were also too big.
I asked the saleslady why she had such crummy old stock and she offered up that perhaps I wasn’t actually a 36C.
Oh, but I am, I explained to her. Not only were her bras all saggy, she was obviously also not very smart.
She offered to fit me. If you’ve never had a proper bra fitting, it’s a little like “date rape:” lots of breasty man handling and very awkward.
After she finished with her tour of second base, she declared I was now a 36B.
Sensing my shock she gently explained that this happens to lots of women after they nurse.
REALLY? Because this was NOT in “What to Expect.” Nowhere does it say, nurse your baby, lose your boobs.
I know, I know, there are some of you lucky ladies who complain that your boobs grew, seriously, I don’t want to hear it. It’s like saying, “Oh I’m just too skinny” “Gee, this engagement ring is just too flashy.” Keep it to yourself okay?
Because I love my babies more than my boobs (not by much, but just enough) I nursed the next three cleavage thieves.
I now rock an A cup. I found some “bra-lettes” at Victoria’s Secret that were perfect. When they discontinued them I complained. The saleslady sympathized “yes, those were so popular with the pre-teens.” She’s lucky I wasn’t packing heat.
My husband got so tired of hearing me complain about my incredible disappearing rack that for Mother’s Day a few years ago he gave me a card offering a boob job.
He’s also not so smart.
I don’t want to mess with my body. It made my four beautiful children. I’m blessed to be healthy and happy. I’m the President of the Itty Bitty You-Know-What Committee and have decided to own it. I can run pain free and wear low cut tops without looking like a hooker.
So to those of you young mommys out there reading blogs instead of books. If you find yourself in my shoes, send me an e-mail and I’ll make you a member of my committee.