What You Won’t Find In “What to Expect When You’re Expecting”

I’m taking a little blog break and featuring some fabulous guest writers. Today’s guest post is by Kim-Marie Evans, a fellow writer at Traveling Mom and founder of The Luxury Travel Mom.  Be sure to follow Kim-Marie on Twitter @LuxuryTravelMom. I’ll be back soon with pictures from a fantastic vacation in Cabo. Please make my guests feel at home. Thanks ya’ll! 

Like all new moms, when I found out I was pregnant with my first baby, I read everything I could find.  This was before blogs ladies; I went out and purchased actual books.

I had the whole series, “What to Expect the baby/toddler/school Years.”  I got a PhD. in mommyhood.  I knew it all. I was ready.

Then I finished nursing my first baby at age one (she’s 13 now and disgusted by the whole idea).

Suddenly, none of my regular bras fit.  So weird, did they get all stretched out during the 2 years they were stored away?

So I went to a lingerie shop for some new not so stretched out bras.

I plucked the 36C’s off of the rack and headed off for the fitting room.

These were obviously also nasty old bras that must have gotten stretched out hanging on those racks because they were also too big.

I asked the saleslady why she had such crummy old stock and she offered up that perhaps I wasn’t actually a 36C.

Oh, but I am, I explained to her.  Not only were her bras all saggy, she was obviously also not very smart.

She offered to fit me.  If you’ve never had a proper bra fitting, it’s a little like “date rape:” lots of breasty man handling and very awkward.

After she finished with her tour of second base, she declared I was now a 36B.

Sensing my shock she gently explained that this happens to lots of women after they nurse.

REALLY?  Because this was NOT in “What to Expect.”  Nowhere does it say, nurse your baby, lose your boobs.

I know, I know, there are some of you lucky ladies who complain that your boobs grew, seriously, I don’t want to hear it.  It’s like saying, “Oh I’m just too skinny” “Gee, this engagement ring is just too flashy.”  Keep it to yourself okay?

Because I love my babies more than my boobs (not by much, but just enough) I nursed the next three cleavage thieves.

I now rock an A cup.  I found some “bra-lettes” at Victoria’s Secret that were perfect.  When they discontinued them I complained.  The saleslady sympathized “yes, those were so popular with the pre-teens.”  She’s lucky I wasn’t packing heat.

My husband got so tired of hearing me complain about my incredible disappearing rack that for Mother’s Day a few years ago he gave me a card offering a boob job.

He’s also not so smart.

I don’t want to mess with my body.  It made my four beautiful children.  I’m blessed to be healthy and happy.  I’m the President of the Itty Bitty You-Know-What Committee and have decided to own it.  I can run pain free and wear low cut tops without looking like a hooker.

So to those of you young mommys out there reading blogs instead of books.  If you find yourself in my shoes, send me an e-mail and I’ll make you a member of my committee.


10 comments

  1. Christine says:

    I was a 36C. Then, after nursing the first, and a little weight loss, went down to a 34A/B. I was soooo happy! I am not a big fan of cleavage. Plus, I loved that I barely ever need to wear a bra! Currently exclusively nursing twins. Have no idea of my current size. Depends on how long it’s been since the last feeding. Feels sometimes like I’m a large D! I’m very interested to see where I end up. I dislike how big I am right now and can’t wait to get back into a smaller size. Plus, I think the preteen bras are great! They are cute and much cheaper! 🙂 I hear ya though – so much you don’t learn from the books. I do have to say though – even though I’ve lost all of the twin weight – my stomach is a HUGE mess of extra skin, many stretch marks, and I don’t think that brown line is ever going to go away!

  2. Anna says:

    I have to say I am with Christine on this one… I don’t like my too large breasts either, and unfortunately, mine didn’t shrink after breastfeeding… I didn’t nurse very long though because I had issues with it and my supply quickly dired up. But, I will definitely try again if I have another baby and cross my fingers that the boobage will shrink! Right now they look like two miss-placed potato sacks, way too big for my 5’2” frame and sooo uncomfortable. Ugh! And don’t get me started with the stomach! The belly button hernia I got from my 8 lb baby girl left my belly looking like a weirdly shaped semi-pregnant stomach. It’s been three years since Emma was born, the brown line went away in about 6 months, but the broken stomach stayed and I will need surgery to fix it. Yay!

  3. tiffany says:

    I’m a larger gal up top, and my breasts did shrink a little bit after I finished nursing my first. I’m hoping that I get the same result after finishing up nursing my second (although that’s more than a year away since the baby won’t even be here until early May). If I wasn’t starting out with a chest size that was a little too large for my frame (or so I always thought) then I would be pretty bummed by this. But it’s working out ok for me!

  4. lne consulting reviews says:

    I have to say I am with Christine on this one… I don’t like my too large breasts either, and unfortunately, mine didn’t shrink after breastfeeding… I didn’t nurse very long though because I had issues with it and my supply quickly dired up. But, I will definitely try again if I have another baby and cross my fingers that the boobage will shrink

  5. d and g concepts says:

    I have to say I am with Christine on this one… I don’t like my too large breasts either, and unfortunately, mine didn’t shrink after breastfeeding… I didn’t nurse very long though because I had issues with it and my supply quickly dired up.

  6. Muscle Maximizer Review says:

    As mentioned, thousands of people have already
    seen life changing results after using Kyle Leon’s Muscle Maximizer for just a few weeks, and there is nothing that says that you can’t experience the same changes as well.
    Many people wish to increase their lean muscle mass and create your toned,
    developed body that is not only aesthetically attractive,
    but strong and healthy additionally. In his new program Kyle Leon offers high quality information and offers a proven muscle
    building system that has been designed by renowned fitness
    models from around the world that have been adjusted and tested for a long time in
    order to provide the best results.

Leave a Reply