If Michelle Duggar’s Uterus Could Talk

By now I’m sure you’ve heard the news, and I’m not talking about Occupy Wall Street. I’m talking about Occupy Michelle Duggar’s Uterus, also known as OUCH and OMG and HOLY STRETCH MARKS.

The Duggar family is expecting their 20th baby and at 45 I admire Michelle Duggar’s sheer stamina. I can barely stay awake past 10 p.m. lately and I only have two kids, two African dwarf frogs, and one prolific shedder of a dog to watch after. I am certainly not one to criticize their parenting skills and I don’t  doubt that they have child raising down to a fine-tuned machine and that they could teach me one or a dozen things about household organization (she types as she sits at the world’s messiest home office desk). Still I cannot imagine the sheer physical stress of having that many babies, especially the state of one’s baby makin’ and baby maintainin’ parts.

Also kids are LOUD. I barely survived driving my 9-year-old and two of her friends jacked up on birthday cake sugar home from a party recently. There was much shrieking and singing off key and general back seat shenanigans and probably a passerby on the interstate or five mouthed a silent prayer for my sanity.

Now that Michelle Duggar’s uterus is no longer on the empty nest waiting list, I wondered what it would say if it could speak and I had a little fun asking this question on my Facebook page.

Here’s what ya’ll had to say…

Anne Bracken McGraw check, please.

Adina Enough already!

Courtney BRING IT!

Amy Haha, I’m pretty sure she doesn’t even have to push anymore. They just fall right on out!

Liz Uncle!

Jenny ‎”SERIOUSLY!?? COME ON!”

Fred Take a ticket. Take a seat.

Judy Enough already!

Lisa Woohoo! I get to protect another of God’s blessings for 9 months!

Shabnam How about a surrogate, please?

Beth Caldwell Parsons Men suck.

Jennifer  I am the Michael Jordan of uteri.

Samantha  AGAIN? REALLY? You have GOT to be freaking kidding?

Brigid ‎(Not really sure, but my daughter believes that the seventh son born to a mother is likely to be a werewolf, so there may be another Duggar reality show on the horizon…)

The Whole Bag of Chips Been there, done that.

 

Here’s what I have to say…

I’ve fallen and I can’t get up! (or maybe I’m just thinking about what my boobs would be like after 20 pregnancies).

 

So what do you moms think? Can you imagine being pregnant 20 times? Dads, can you imagine having a built-in baseball team?

6 comments

  1. Tabor says:

    I have not walked in her shoes so really do not think my comments would add anything to this. Are the kids loved, fed, reasonably happy and healthy,wearing decent clothes and have a roof over their heads? Then I have nothing to say since there are “families” with only one or two children that are abused and neglected everyday.

  2. Nancy says:

    Didn’t she almost die from the last one? This seems like INSANITY to me. Why? Why? Why? Why? And that’s what I think her uterus is saying, too: Why me?

  3. The Stiletto Mom says:

    Tabor makes a similar point that was made on my blog at 18 babies. Sadly, I’m not as classy as you in that I had a picture of the whole family with a caption that said, “Vagina. It’s not a clown car.”

    To her point, they do seem to be a very happy family…but OH MY GOD all those kids. And this one? Is probably going to just walk right on out. Sort of enough with the kids now that she is a mom of 19 and a grandmother of 2. Those parents must be the best people on the earth to have so many happy and seemingly well adjusted kids. I’d fail in a heartbeat beyond the two I have.

  4. Anash says:

    the more kids the merrier…as long as they are fed, maintained. they will love having a large family when they get older@

  5. Suzanne H says:

    Being pregnant twice was enough for me. I can’t imagine 20.

    I’m in agreement with Nancy though, the last pregnancy she had was less than healthy and the baby was premature. I don’t know why someone would take a risk after that. I hope all goes well for them.

  6. Anna says:

    I was only pregnant once, and I know, most mommies have at least 2 or 3 kids, but I had a hard one! I’m only 5’2” and my girl was 8 pounds. She’s 3 now and my belly is still broken and weirdly shaped… No, I cannot for the life of me imagine 20 pregnancies! I would not survive!

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