Easter Basket Fail, Naked Jesus, And Mr. God

Miss A's Second Easter II


Miss A’s second Easter in 2006. Look at that face. I should have known that she’d be a future Easter basket trouble maker.


Miss A used the toilet this morning in our half bath and walked out with a chapter book I’d hidden, obviously very well, for Miss C’s Easter basket on Sunday. “Mommy, what is this?” she asked, waving the book at me.

You know the basket I’m talking about. THE Easter basket. As in from the Easter Bunny. So I’ll just be giving Miss C the book some other time.

CRAP.

I don’t know if Miss A also rummaged in the tote bag beneath it filled with Peeps and chocolate and jelly beans and other goodies intended for their Easter baskets. I asked her if she found anything else and she replied, “Um. No. Am I in trouble?”

Double CRAP.

My husband asked why in the world I didn’t hide it somewhere else, like the attic. Well let’s see for one thing it’s supposed to be 85 degrees today. Also, she never uses that bathroom.

I have yet to fill Easter eggs so I’m just hoping that she’ll be so excited when she sees her Easter Bunny loot Sunday morning that she won’t make the connection between the bagged candy she discovered and the candy from the Easter Bunny.

I also left two chocolate bunnies in my car this week intended for their Easter baskets and forgot about them until mid-day. By the time I went to rescue them and shove them in the refrigerator at work one of them melted into a blur of chocolatey goodness, all the carved out bunny features melted into a smooth blob of chocolate, kind of like bunny Botox gone frightfully wrong.

The following post was originally published in April 2007. So far it’s much funnier than anything Easter related that has transpired this week which can be summed up succinctly with EASTER BASKET FAIL.

 

Miss C and I went to our neighbor’s church Easter musical Sunday night. I realized pretty quickly that Miss C’s Bible story knowledge focuses on Noah, Moses, and the other usual Old Testament Bible characters and that we have not adequately covered the resurrection, which of course is a pretty big deal. Not to mention that Miss C most readily associates Easter with the hip hop white guy with pink ears, and I don’t mean K-Fed.

The hubby stayed at home with our little Mexican jumping bean Miss A. I knew this was the right decision when Miss C insisted on sitting right up in front at church and when I got home and the hubby told me I’d missed out on Miss A’s nuclear explode up-the-back diaper episode.

Miss C was very well behaved during the entire musical, which went on for nearly and hour and a half, and I reminded her that even though this was a church “play,” we needed to be quiet.

But she whispered (her “quiet” voice can be quite loud) about 500 questions during the musical.

Some of my favorites are:

Who’s Hosanna?

Why is Jesus mad?

Why are they hurting Jesus?

Is Jesus dead?

Why is Jesus in that cave?

Does Jesus sit with the dead people in heaven?

And my favorite: Is Jesus naked?

Having an almost 5-year-old intently converse with me about the meaning of life and death, not to mention her reasoning that people must wear capes in order to fly up to heaven, is pretty darn cool. That and the fact that she refers to God as Mr. God.

It reminds me of this Bible verse: “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these.”

That’s right. Do not hinder them. Even if they ask if Jesus is naked…in church.

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9 comments

  1. Amy says:

    Hey, I just bought Easter candy in front of the kids at Kroger and I don’t think they even really noticed…except Aaron because I snagged the bag as we were unloading the van. He goes “do you always do that? I’ve never noticed!!” HA!!
    I think I’m sending Brian out for other goodies. I am at wits end today and they might get twigs and coal…wait, that’s another day, right?? Also, to the slow geese crossing our road I was heard to say “Move it or I’m serving goose for Easter!”
    I think I need my wine now…

  2. Jennifer says:

    I did the same thing with the bunnies. Baby Girl has already eaten one of them. Of course this meant that I had to go buy new ones for the baskets. I’m hoping I have everything hid well enough. You never know with her.
    .-= Jennifer´s last blog ..Sunday’s Comin’ =-.

  3. Leiani says:

    Easter certainly is interesting round your way! At our place the easter bunny always leaves flour coated foot prints all over house on Easter morning, which the kids loved to follow around when they were little. Happy Easter!
    .-= Leiani´s last blog ..And so it begins. =-.

  4. Jamie says:

    Amy I love you girl. I had to have a little Good Friday wine while getting ready for church services last night. I’m sure Jesus will understand. 😉

    The girls are either getting along fantastically or fighting like pros. SIGH

    Today we may be rained in…no soccer so far. I need to find a distraction. Will probably decorate Easter eggs today!

    Wine later…....
    .-= Jamie´s last blog ..Easter Basket Fail, Naked Jesus, And Mr. God =-.

  5. Kelly Ann T. says:

    I love children’s takes on God. I teach Sunday school and they are so funny. Mr. God (too cute), the respect she gives God is wonderful.

    I took the dog to the doggie egg hunt yesterday. The proceeds benefitted a local rescue group and we ended up with a ton of treats. He even got a prize egg which was good for a box of treats.

    I hope you had a great Easter, we did and the weather was fantastic. I always hide the candy in the pantry on the top shelf. The kids think the only things up there are cookie cutters and things like plastic silver wear.

  6. jeanine says:

    i love this post! i have 4 children and have heard many things like this over the years. i think it is hilarious (after the fact) that they don’t care where they are (even in church) thanks for the laugh. God bless!
    .-= jeanine´s last blog ..Menu Plan Monday 2/22 =-.

  7. Linda Tubes says:

    Ho ho! That’s rich! My husband and I used to bury the Easter Baskets in giant plastic EggPods in the backyard and then have the kids dig them up (Teaches the kids that sometimes you have to use a shovel to get what you want, both in business & pleasure) but they dug up the skeleton of Lupe, our old cat. Oh the tears!

    Now me and my husband catch rabbits and release them all over the house much to the delight of my son!

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