I'm just another working mom seeking a few moments of Zen and zinfandel between soccer practice and supper. My former beach bartender husband founded 
We invited my bachelor big brother over for chili and to watch the last half (which was an incredible half I might add…WOOT WOOT!) of the Titans/Cardinals game on Sunday.
Because nothing says are you ready for some football quite like playing dolls, Miss A came into the den clutching her bare bottomed Baby Alive doll. She’s a pack rat so I’m never sure what she’s going to drag out from her room. A crumpled Strawberry Shortcake theme Happy Meal bag? An orange yo yo? The scrap piece of paper she insists on calling her treasure map? You never know. Once I found a raisin under her bed near the wall and for a split second I feared she was hiding a rodent in her room and it had done its business.
Now Miss A has ignored this poor doll for most of the year so I was surprised when she brought out not only the doll, but the doll’s toy potty and baby bottle…this was sewious (thanks Wonder Pets). She asked me where the baby’s food was. Because I’m a mean mother I’ve never bought any more of the green baby food powder that came in the original box with Baby Alive. Once you’ve cleaned up nuclear green goop off a plastic doll’s mouth and bottom, you are SO over the amusement of fake baby food. Any way, I broke the news to her that baby didn’t have any food and she’d just have to give her a bottle of water, she got down to the business of playing mommy and getting her baby doll to “drink” while the rest of us watched the game, including Miss C who was only occasionally sucked into the excitement over playing baby doll.
Miss A proceeded to shriek for a good half hour “OHHHH SHE PEEIN’...SHE PEEIN’ MOMMY!” At one point she was so excited she ran to me with the potty and dumped the potty water (which, thankfully, was just water) on the carpet. I think she was just showing off for my brother.
If you ever want a real testosterone killer, just drag out a peeing baby doll during a football game.
As a side note, the next night the doll started speaking in Spanish. I think she’s disoriented from all the attention or maybe needs a shot of tequila after the embarrassment of the public pee marathon Sunday night.
Or maybe she just needs batteries…special batteries that can never be replaced.
Ha
You couldn’t make this stuff up!
I love your storytelling style.
.-= Rebecca´s last blog ..Late November =-.
Yes. Baby Alive is sooooooooooooo over-rated. You should have heard my husband cleaning up the green goop: “Haven’t we already done this with 3 human babies? I refuse to clean up after a doll!” And with that, the “food” was never seen again.
And aren’t Baby Alive’s eyes freakishly large?
.-= Mary @ The Writer’s Block´s last blog ..The End, 3 Hours Behind, and The Library Is After Me =-.
Too funny! Come on, admit it, you put a little tequila in that bottle!
.-= LoveFeast Table´s last blog ..Breville GiftAway =-.
Hi Tiffany! You have a floaubus collection. That hat pin in the first photo is so charming. Love how you have the old hat filled too. Pretty post.-Karoline
Hillarious! I can’t believe they still make those dolls. I had one when I was a young tot. You had to push her lips and her mouth would move like she was eating. The food for the baby was gross. Even back then!
.-= Shelley´s last blog ..Newbie Blogger Seeks Answers from Experienced Bloggers =-.
I definitely felt like DRINKING tequila after watching that doll pee over and over.
Where exactly can you buy those special batteries?
I can’t quit laughing! That is too funnyy!
I love it. The game was great! We had the same problem with my son & wonder pets. I’ll never get a Baby Alive doll for my girls. I had one as a kid & got grossed out quickly.
.-= Marie´s last blog ..Self-esteem =-.
That is funny…I love the way you put it. I thought thoseAlso, I just wanted to pass this along for possibly a future blog post for you…check out http://www.cellitused.com. You can sell your old cell phones and electronics to them to make extra money every month. You can also do fundraisers personally or for an organization to raise extra money. This might help your readers make some extra cash for the holidays.
Isn’t it a shame that soooo many toys come with batteries that are just impossible to get again?
Oh, and I find the best time to get rid of special projects that eventually become a fire hazard is to do it while they’re not looking. They never miss it.
What the heck is with the spam now days?
.-= Jennifer´s last blog ..Glen said it wasn
I’ll have to make a note: Never get peeing dolls for my daughters. LOL.
I had a hand-me-down Baby Alive doll when I was a kid. I played with it once and decided that it just wasn’t all that fun! I had a Chatty Patty doll too… now THAT was awesome, especially when something went haywire and her speech was really creepy! (and I still have her!)