I'm just another working mom seeking a few moments of Zen and zinfandel between soccer practice and supper. My former beach bartender husband founded 
Miss C has been enthralled with a Halloween commercial for Party City and wore me out with requests to truck out there all last weekend, although honestly that was the LAST thing I felt like doing on a beautiful fall afternoon.
We piled in my SUV and headed to the store. I cautioned her that it wasn’t really going to look like it did in the commercial but that it would be fun to look at the costumes and Halloween decorations. I didn’t want her to be disappointed. (See? Such a killjoy am I. See also speaking like Yoda.)
We walked in and she had this look on her face like “Oh, I get it now.” There was no creepy smoke or people walking around in scary costumes. It was just…a store. But still she was excited to look at the decorations and laugh at the macabre masks and begged me to buy a $19.99 plastic cauldron, which I did not. Insert evil mommy witch cackle.
When you’re a kid everything is literal. You see magic and smoke and ghosts and ghouls and mythical creatures on TV and your imagination grasps it and runs full speed ahead. Your whole life is filled with the endless possibilities fueled by imagination, wonder, and excitement.
And then you turn 40 and you have bills and deadlines and aging parents and a spouse who works too much and you’re running out of vacation days and wait, is the toilet leaking again, is the check engine light on, and is our dog, our “baby” from the early days of our marriage, really both deaf AND senile or is it normal for her to bark at a napkin left on the kitchen table?
Sigh.
I’ve become that “I hate to break it to you kid but this is kind of meh” kind of mother lately.
I think I’m in a delayed funk over turning 40.
There I said it. (Exhales.)
I’ve always been a glass half full kind of girl! A smiley face winky face emoticon kind of girl!
I’m fighting my tendency lately to look at the negative and the realistic tarnished side of things.
I’m fighting the funk because my girls have the world at their feet and they believe that every day is an adventure.
They believe that being a grown up is COOL, Miss C especially.
And hey sometimes being a grownup is cool. And I know that. (Smacks self on the forehead.)
I don’t ever want to rain on their parade, even when it takes us to the crappy Party City store down the road.
They deserve better than that.
Oh, the check engine light.
You seem to be doing so right by them.
.-= Rebecca´s last blog ..We’re reading: My Two Hands/My Two Feet =-.
Baby Girl loves Party City, even without the smoke and lights and costumes. She’s a total party girl. LOL
.-= Jennifer´s last blog ..One Year Ago Today =-.
Oh the poor dog!
The look on Miss A’s face in that picture just kills me. (“In trouble with that one, you are,” says Yoda.)
Being in your 40’s is like somehow 100% SUCKY and about 80% OK. I get it.
.-= amy2boys´s last blog ..Trouble =-.
I kind of miss the rose colored glasses of childhood – it is so refreshing to see it in my kids, but yes, I struggle with being a ‘killjoy’ sometimes. Guess that’s the difference between growing up and growing old…being able to put it in perspective and see the possibilities thru a childs eyes rather than always negative.
Glad your girls enjoyed the store…always fun to look!
~K
Kel, I just realized the girls literally have on “rose-colored glasses” in their pic! (albeit crazy bat girl ones)
Yeah I’m definitely moody lately. I mean I’ve ALWAYS been moody but lately? OY!
Nothing is as good as it looks on television. You may be the I hate to break it to you kid kinda mom, but you are definately not alone in having let down your kids. That is what learning is all about. The fact that this continues all throughout the teenage years and even into adulthood is kind of a bummer, but that is reality.
.-= Bobby´s last blog ..Natural Baby Pros is Pleased to Bring You Our… =-.
Fighting the funk…I’m SO there:P I think we all need a drink, and a party…you going to Blissdom, you going? It’s in your town, yes?
.-= Nap Warden´s last blog ..Step Off Nanny =-.
I can relate. I just love the honesty and kind of “emotional deconstruction and dissection” of this post. Just wanted to say that.
And I had a verbal tug-of-war with my 6yo today as she begged to go to Party City and I refused because the schedule wouldn’t allow.
.-= Mary@The Writer’s Block´s last blog ..Moms: Does Eternity Influence You? =-.
Miss A woke me at 4 a.m. this morning (thank God she and I both went back to sleep) and it dawned on me.
I have PMS.
Step away from the computer!
.-= Jamie´s last blog ..How Being A Grown Up Is Like Party City: Looks Great On TV, Kinda Sucks In Reality =-.
Looks like you were beyond stressed in this post.