There Is Nothing Junior About My Butt

Today I finally had time to do a little clothes shopping for the Blissdom Conference this weekend. When I registered several weeks ago I had grand ideas about finally losing my holiday five pounds, but due to my mom’s emergency gallbladder surgery last week and the fact that it’s been freezing outside and I’ve been eating leftover chili since Super Bowl Sunday I’m feeling a little white and flabby.

I had limited time to shop so I headed to the holiday wear area on clearance at Kohl’s. Of course I ignored the fact that I was in the junior department and that I haven’t really been able to do junior club wear since I was about 22 years old and had nothing better to do than go to the gym four to five times a week.  I was in denial and had limited time and cash.

I grabbed about 25 blouses (no kidding) and hated nearly every one of them. I can’t do those loose, peasant type tops that come down low and then blouse out because I look pregnant, especially since I’m petite (i.e. short) and am short waisted. I can’t do fitted without sucking in my stomach and that’s no fun so I ended up buying a teal blouse in a junior large. I whittled down the selection to a long sleeveless black tunic type sweater (hides a multitude of sins and gallons of ingested chili beans and Frito Scoops), a gray skirt with a hint of shiny to it, a stretchy black skirt (key word stretchy) in a fun busy print designed to camouflage my chips and queso thighs, and a vibrant teal tuxedo type blouse that I like until I start worrying that I’ll look like Prince or Seinfeld in that puffy shirt episode. Thankfully I’m getting my hair cut and colored Friday.

The funny thing is that when I got home today this DVD had arrived in the mail for me to review.


Oh Scary Spice why didn’t you come to my rescue weeks ago?

I just read a review online of Mel B’s exercise DVD that says, This assumes no experience and gives excellent basic, practical advice for beginners, which has me and my aversion to working out written all over it. Somehow I don’t think I’m going to be Spice Girl Mama fabulous by the weekend, but I do have several weeks before we head to the beach for spring break.

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I'm Jamie, a 40-something Nashville mom desperately seeking a few moments of Zen and zinfandel between soccer practice and supper. I love to travel, find great deals, and talk with my hands. My former beach bartender husband founded MouseCalls Computer Services. We have two daughters, three dogs, and too much laundry. Email me at blondemomblog @ gmail.com.

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Comments

  1. I feel you…I just started a new exercise dance dvd and the first day my hubby came home to find me bawling and jumping around our family room like a loon. I felt uncoordinated and jiggly in all the wrong places and saw myself ‘fat’ for the rest of my life.

    I’m sure you’ll look great at blissdom – dvd or not!
    ~K

  2. I need to think about what to wear to Blissdom I guess. I’m going in to the office Fri morning, so I’ll be decent Friday. Saturday I need to ponder…

    You’re teeny tiny. You must have to have everything hemmed, eh?

    amy @ milk breath and margaritass last blog post..My Boy

  3. The cover of that DVD looks like it came straight out of the 80’s – what were they thinking?

    Sounds like you found some great tops!

    Uncommonblondes last blog post..Makes me smile

  4. I tried to take a photo of my actual Mel B DVD but the glare from the flash was funky so I just snagged that one online…I believe it’s the UK version as mine is slightly different but still very 80s.

    Jamies last blog post..There Is Nothing Junior About My Butt

  5. I have been trying to lose weight since forever, and I hate the fact that some designs just won’t work for me. I guess I need to exert more effort at weight loss. I am glad that you found the perfect clothes. I am pretty sure that you’ll look great.Wish you all the best.

  6. We are living parallel lives…

    I too went to Kohl’s last night. Hated everything.

    I too received that DVD in the mail.

    I haven’t done laundry, packed, got the household in order for my absence. And I’m in the office today.

    Awk! I’m so unprepared.

    Leeanthros last blog post..Bad Jokes, Great Giveaways

  7. I totally shopped at Kohl’s before I left for blissdom…IN THE JUNIORs section. The dang mom section was terribly lame with ugly jeans. Course I tried on one pair of ‘junior’ jeans and went.. oh? ‘mid-rise’ still means to freaking low for this mom-rise! But I scored and awesome sweatery-like shirt that matched the exact color of our new logo!

    Awesome to find everyone this weekend!

    @carissa_momif

    Carissas last blog post..How Do You Incorporate Chocolate With Your Family?

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