I'm just another working mom seeking a few moments of Zen and zinfandel between soccer practice and supper. My former beach bartender husband founded 
We have a winner! Phil Wilson, who commented “The officer was shocked to see what Britney Spears looked like without makeup,” was the favorite chosen by myself and the best friend. The runner up is Connie at The Young and The Relentless, which may be my new favorite blog name, who wrote, “Jim Bob had no idea it was against the law to wear his wife’s swim suit to McDonalds.”
The best friend e-mailed me this awesome Kodak moment yesterday that was captured in our hometown. Girl, please warn me the next time you send me something this hilarious while I’m at the office.
It has all the icons of sleepy small Southern town America and Jerry Springer: tattoos, cellulite, McDonald’s, and the local cash advance store.
I thought I’d have some fun a la Mrs. Fussypants and host a Caption That Inappropriate Photo Contest.
Here’s my stab at it:
“Granny feared she’d never qualify for the Spring Break 2009 Hot Mama Competition during Daytona Biker Week once her real age was printed in the local paper.”
The winner of the photo caption contest will receive a Break Out The Good Liquor, The Kids Are Back In School, Thank You Jesus book collection. I have several fun books that were sent to me this summer to review before it dawned on me that the only leisure reading I do is in 5-minute snippets while stuck in the grocery checkout line or every 8 weeks when I skim In Style at the hair salon. The winner will receive Mrs. Perfect (I read it and really enjoyed it) by Jane Porter, whose Flirting With 40 book is being made into a movie starring Heather Locklear; It’s All About Him, by Denise Jackson, wife to country music super star Alan Jackson; and HUMP: True Tales of Sex After Kids. I’ve got a few more to toss in the prize box, too.
See? Something for everyone.
I’ll close comments to this post midnight Saturday and with the help from the best friend we shall pick a winnah!
[...] to add: OMG!
The officer was shocked to see what Britney Spears looked like without makeup.
Jim Bob had no idea it was against the law to wear his wife’s swim suit to McDonalds.
“The car and the senator are in custody. Ten-four.”
Phoenix Womans last blog post..Steve Bell
Oh. My. Ga.
How about:
“Don’t look up…don’t look up…don’t look up….ACK! I looked up!”
Jennifers last blog post..Are you a muppet lovah?
That officer’s pretty cute. I can’t believe I left my wig at home!
Beth_Cs last blog post..People Google the silliest things!
‘Tear that ticket up, officer, and I’ll show you a little something special in these dimples’.
Renees last blog post..Bits of Thanks
OMG!! I was going to try a caption (I’m terrible at that) but you’ve got so many good ones already – I can’t do it.
Off to bleach my eyeballs.
Amys last blog post..Lost Treasures
Oh YIE! That’s smashtastic. I need to see an eye doctor now.
Hugs,
Holly
Holly Schwendimans last blog post..Inspiring
OH MY GOD. I need to think about this for a while.
Hilda hoped that the policeman would be able to get her directions to the Y before the entire blogiverse jumped to the wrong conclusion.
Bluegrass Mamas last blog post..Wordless Wednesday
“Ma’am, I have to cite you for Driving under the Influence of a Tramp Stamp.”
Phoenix Womans last blog post..It
Fashion Police!
Nap Wardens last blog post..Why Wouldn’t They Be…
would you like some cottage cheese with your meal?
Oh, my freakin’ bejeepers, Girlfriend! Please, add a warning above the fold before you post a pee-pee panty photo and caption like that again!
themommykellys last blog post..This Bird Has Flown!
Stella Fernbottom: offering up class and sideboob since 1953.
BobbieJean explains to Deputy Smith, “My license and registration are in here somewhere.”
EGs last blog post..Weekend
BUHAHA. Had. To. Stumble. Oh. My. GOD.
This chick makes me feel sexy. I love you for posting it.
I hope she wasn’t coming from the Curves.
Caption #1: “Today Officer Bob found out what Ronald McDonald does on his day off.”
Caption #2: “Does this suit make my butt look big?”
Caption #3: “Can you hear me now? Good.”
Caption #4: “Officer, those punks stole my fanny pack!”
“Wanda had gone to 3 Walmarts and 2 Dollar Generals before finding the PERFECT bikini in her size… 34 Long, and was happy to provide Officer Billy Bob with her receipt to prove she did not, in fact, use the 5-finger discount”
Jackies last blog post..And the winner is….
OMG OMG
“Don’t look ETHEL
!
[...] forget to comment on the GILF photo from Wednesday (Joe Francis eat your heart [...]
oh. my. holy. hell. woman.
Ye gads. Those captions are hysterical. It’s time like this I wish that I was creative and quick witted.
rachels last blog post..You ‘otter’ know about attitude
I’ve been trying to come up with a caption but there are no words …
UncommonBlondes last blog post..Blah, Blah, Blog
Shut UP
Oh. My. Gosh.
PamperingBekis last blog post..Fingerprint Friday
‘Who knew they gave tickets for saggy boobs and worn tattoos?’
Shamelessly Sassys last blog post..Preschool: The Gateway Drug
Woo Hoo! I’m the runner up!
This is priceless hahaha! I feel sooo sorry for that police officer, i betcha he wishes he’d been called somewhere else that day!
Mr Articles last blog post..What do snails eat?
This woman makes me feel sexy. Thanks for posting.
[...] wrote about the neighborhood psycho fitness mom and helicopter moms. I had a photo caption contest for a hilarious, and somewhat disgusting, photograph of a bikini clad biker granny from my hometown. I got really sappy over Miss C becomining a first grader and horror or horrors, my hairdresser [...]
[...] reading you guys, hearing your stories, getting a glimpse in to your everyday lives. I never know what I’m going to get when I open my reader – sometimes I laugh and sometimes I cry. [...]