If you’re drinking wine and painting and putting up laundry and listening to music from your college days because you have the house to yourself and you suddenly feel 20 years old and bullet proof, whatever you do, DON’T crank Jane’s Addiction Been Caught Stealing unless you want your psycho old biddy dog to go completely ballistic during the dog barking part at the beginning of the song.

You’re welcome.

What was the soundtrack of your college years? I graduated in 1991 so I listened to a ton of REM, U2, Cure, Depeche Mode, Jane’s Addiction…

I was a journalism major and not in a sorority (I dropped out of rush…oh the pressure!) so I hung out with a lot of the “alternative” crowd. I mean as alternative as you can get in Kentucky.

p.s. Here’s a before and after shot of the glamorous above the toilet area.

Driving Miss C to school yesterday, I cranked up a classic rock station, opened the sunroof, and hit all the green lights. Classic rock seems to be a safe bet in the car with the girls because with top 40 you never know when you’re going to hear a love song about a pantyless stripper.

I had promised the hubby I would help him with his business plan yesterday and I had blocked out lunch, which on Fridays is typically spent at school with Miss C.

I turned the music down to deliver the bad news.

Miss C Mommy can’t eat lunch with you today.

Miss C: Mommy, turn it up.

Wait, I wanted to tell you I can’t eat lunch with you today.

Miss C: Why not?

Well, I need to help daddy with something at his office.

Miss C: Uh, mommy can you turn up that song?

I’ll come up to school one day next week for lunch.

Miss C: Okay, okay…now mommy TURN IT UP!

In Labor Day weekend news, I’m painting our hall bathroom a lovely pale blue tomorrow (buh bye yellow) and I think the girls will be farmed out to the inlaws while I paint and hubby partakes in his manly segue into autumn-his fantasy football league draft. Hopefully I’ll stick to my paintbrushes and finish my project since I bought the paint in March. I don’t want to get too distracted with the prospect of being alone for a few hours because I might do something crazy like run off to Target and move in.

p.s. Pray that Gustav simmers down.

I don’t care what side of the political fence you fall on (and I never write about politics on this blog), but it’s a very exciting day when an African American man is running for president and the Republican party names a woman as VP running mate (a “hockey” mom of five who was working three days after the birth of her fifth child, who has Down syndrome.)

Photo of 44-year-old Alaskan Governor Sarah Palin courtesy of Alaska Seafood

Could we have a woman VP in the White House? What do you think? Any undecided voters out there? This is now shaping up to be a very exciting election to watch on both fronts.

One of my lovely readers, Tracy, (who does PR for PeaceLoveMom) asked me to help spread the word about a benefit that kicked off today for Stephanie and Christian Nielson, a couple from Mesa, Arizona, who were seriously burned in a small plane crash August 16. Christian has burns on 30 percent of his body and Stephanie (Nie Nie) has burns on 80 percent of her body. Pilot Doug Kinneard, a dad to four, died from injuries sustained in the crash. The Nielsons have four children and many bloggers many know Stephanie through her blog, Nie Nie Dialogues.

Read all about Nie Nie Day on Design Mom. At this time there are nearly 300 (!) fabulous auctions being launched today as a blogger effort to raise money for the Nielsons. And I am not exaggerating when I say fabulous. There is something for everyone, from a Maroon 5 autographed guitar to gorgeous handmade items. Another way to help is to post a button spreading the word about the recovery fundraising effort. The nifty blog button can be found here. More about the Nielson’s story can be found here.

Here’s a photo I found of the couple that Nie Nie posted in May:

The accompanying post is so incredibly sweet. I think it’s a lovely snapshot into their life together and I don’t even know them.

Dear Neighborhood Psycho Fitness Mom:

I’ve never run into you at the playground before, but you amaze me with your ability to turn an afternoon with your kids into a workout.

OK, to be honest, I’m not running at the park am I? I’m sitting on my butt. As I watched you do power lunges on the park benches and speed walk around the swing sets like some kind of crazed Richard Simmons groupie on crack, pumping your arms and counting laps, I felt compelled to get up and do something. What, I don’t know, but I contemplated doing some jumping jacks or dropping to the ground and doing some push ups. Then I came to my senses and remembered that I use my solo neighborhood walks as a chance to escape the house by myself. Maybe I should have asked you if you needed me to watch your kids while you went for a jog? No, that would have been really crazy.

Please stop making me feel guilty as I take these precious moments of down time to check my cell phone voice mail and watch the girls play sit on my ass. I nearly broke a sweat each time you squeezed your glutes and shouted over to your kids on the monkey bars: “Hold on sweeties, mommy’s got one more set of reps!”

Love,

Blonde Mom

Last year I helped out quite a bit in Miss C’s kindergarten class. I knew her teacher, having volunteered in her class two years in a row through Junior Achievement, and because of that, her teacher never hesitated to ask me to do some additional take home tasks, such as assembling class packets, which, unfortunately, turned into the volunteer job from hell and me toting a box of worksheets from home to work and then back home again. I also volunteered in the classroom every Friday that I could since that’s my work from home day.

This year it’s a different song and dance. Miss C’s teacher is new to our school system. During the first grade parents meeting last week she asked that no parents volunteer for the entire month of September so that the kids could get acclimated to her.

You could have heard a PTO pen drop when she made her request.

Our elementary school is known for the zealous army of parent volunteers willing to take on the most difficult of fundraising tasks. We need to sell five tons of frozen gourmet cookie dough in a week? No problem! We need to organize and throw the biggest fundraising carnival featuring a special performance of Cirque deu Soleil in the school gym? Let’s do it!

Frankly, I wasn’t too surprised by her request since one of my friend’s daughters is one year older than Miss C and she’d already told me that first grade teachers don’t want as much in room volunteer time by the parents.

At first I felt rejected not having Miss C’s new teacher assign me with a volunteer project within 48 hours of school starting, but then I came to my senses and realized “Good God Woman You HAVE IT MADE!” I happily filled out the volunteer form and noted that I can help with field trips and with reading to the class, but it’s nice to not feel obligated to spend my Fridays hovering over the laminating machine in the teacher’s work room. I’m planning on eating lunch with Miss C in the school cafeteria on most Fridays, but I can merrily be on my way and not feel pressured into “just one little project” by her teacher.

I think the helicopter room moms are starting to relax with the new teacher, but I’m trying to avoid them like the plague because the only thing worse than the teacher who knows how to push your volunteer buttons, is the elementary school helicopter mom.

Here are some tips for avoiding them:

Make no eye contact with other parents. You can get away with dark sunglasses inside the school building the first week, but after the second week it gets suspicious as people may suspect you’re hung over.

Don’t linger after school meetings and never arrive early for school meetings.

Never voluntarily give out your phone number or e-mail address as it will be distributed soon enough.

Consider setting up a separate e-mail address that you only give out for school information.

Always be prepared with a pat excuse for rushing off after school (i.e. we have soccer practice, dance class.)

Use your other children as an excuse. (i.e. “I’d love to talk more about the XXXXX, but I need to pick up Sallie Mae by 3:30 for a dental appointment.)

Use your spouse as an excuse. (i.e. “I’ve got to run, hubby needs me to drop something off at the post office.”)

Use your dog as an excuse (i.e. “Fluffy’s in the car, gotta run, byeeeeeeeee!”)

So do you have any tips for avoiding signing your life away to the PTO? Is there a balance?

Friday, 6 p.m.

Hubby: Do you need a glass of wine?

Me: YES.

Hubby: Do you need a Big Gulp of wine?

——————————-

Saturday, 8 a.m.

Miss A: My elbow hurts mommy. (She is laying down on the couch and rubbing her forehead.)

Me: Do you mean your temple?

Miss A: Yeah.

——————————

Sunday, 7:45 p.m.

Miss C: My sister is the best girl in the world!!!!!!!!! (Hugs Miss A as they both scream with glee while I push them home from the playground in our bike cart.)

—————————–

Sunday, 8:15 p.m.

Miss A: Mommy is plankton real?

Me: Yes.

Miss A: Where does he live?

Me: In the ocean. Wait a minute, do you mean Plankton on Sponge Bob?

Miss A: Yeah. (Clearly we are downing the Sponge Bob Kool Aid around here.)

—————————–

Monday, 3 a.m.

Miss C: MOMMY!

Me: Yes, baby.

Miss C: I didn’t have a nightmare, but my throat hurts really, really bad.

Me: Oh nooooooooooooooooooo.

It’s funny, I don’t really consider myself a mom from the Deep South (I don’t like sweet tea, which is probably blasphemous, or belong to the Junior League), but nonetheless I find myself still calling my mama and daddy mama and daddy and last night I “hollered” at one of our neighbors: “I love ya’lls new porch!”

So there you have it. Southern I am ya’ll.

Read about my quest to tone down the twang at work over at Deep South Moms. I also wrote recently about ways to prepare for your next job interview at Blissfully Domestic.

At Savvy Housewife I’m posting giveaways every Monday. This week’s giveaway is for a plush toy from Douglas Toys. I’m also starting a new Save and Tell feature with frugal shopping tips and I hope you’ll do a little frugal show and tell while you’re there.

Don’t forget to comment on the GILF photo from Wednesday (Joe Francis eat your heart out).

Have a great weekend!

p.s. If you’re anal retentive like me, you’ve already started thinking about Christmas shopping. Tiny Tag Designs has generously extended their special sidebar ad here on Blonde Mom Blog with the 20 percent discount code. So go click on the and pick up a little sumpin’ sumpin’ for the woman in your life!