Trampy, Toothless Tots R Us
Have you read any of the uproar surrounding Heelarious, a new product touted as baby’s first heels?
Well, personally I am sickened by a practice that has been going on for years before tiny zebra-print infant stilettos hit the market.
I am outraged at the Hillbillyfication of babies!
Those disgusting hilarious pacifiers that make your kids look like bucktoothed Bubba inbreds are atrocious and should be outlawed.
This completely sarcastic tirade brought to you by a woman who dressed both her girls like ladybugs for their first Halloween, propped them up, took countless photos and then e-mailed them to friends and family all over the country.
So what do you think about Heelarious baby pumps? Are they hilarious? Are they appalling? Do they sexualize baby girls? Or, are they just plain silly?
I personally would never spend nearly $40 on a novelty item like faux baby heels, but then I’m also not outraged by them. I am assuming that if anyone buys this product for their baby girl that they are surely buying them in jest, and not planning to turn out a little baby Heidi Fleiss on the playground. Two moms came up with the idea behind Heelarious and the website clearly promotes the fact that they are intended as a joke. They come in a cute purse-shaped bag, complete with a little baby bling rhinestone closure. I actually think that’s pretty darn clever.
In the mean time I’m just waiting for Flava Flav to release a line of pimp hats for baby boys or maybe a milk bong or pacifier roach clip. Baby temporary tattoos or a new line of thong Pull Ups could be next.
