In the Morning, In the Evening, Ain’t We Got Fun

Monday mornings hit me in the face like a whiff of ripe garbage. I don’t do Mondays, particularly Monday mornings, very well. I am a bit of a control freak, so I don’t like the tendency for Monday to get railroaded by a million distractions. Much of this is my own undisciplined bordering on adult ADD fault as I get distracted by things like my laptop whispering sweet nothings to me and asking me to turn it on.

This Monday was particularly painful, as it was the Monday after our wonderful Florida vacation. I tried my best to make sure everything was organized and planned for when I went to bed Sunday as it was also the first Monday of summer vacation for Miss C. No school, however, does not equate “no plan.” Miss C is spending the day with my mom on Mondays and Wednedays this summer and I need to leave the house by 7:30 in order to get to work by 8:15. The hubby is taking Miss A to daycare on his way to work. The dogs are lounging in the back yard and wondering when we’re going to have steak for dinner again.

I had coffee ready, mugs out, outfits chosen, lunch made, and my purse and work bag on the kitchen table. I was rushing out the door with Miss C to meet my mom at the WalMart parking lot (the international meet-up place of the South), when Miss A emerged from her room, barefoot and wearing her mint green monkey nightgown. Hubby walked down the hall, stopped, and said, “What is that all over her rug?”

Sh*t.

And I mean literally, sh*t.

And then under my breath I said, “sh*t.”

Once again motherhood had dragged me into the ring of reality and given me a righteous slapping with the “you think you’re so smart” glove.

Miss A had gone potty in the night and decided to take off her soiled PullUp and shake it out on her rug. Has she ever done this in her entire 39 months on Earth? Um, no.

I started to really scold Miss A as I was furious, but saw her face drop. I knew that she was truly sorry. I quickly picked up the solid matter with toilet paper, flushed it, sprayed the spots with cleaner, washed my hands, and headed out the door with Miss C. Thankfully traffic was non-existent since school is out for the summer, and I managed to make it to work on time despite the delay.

Later that day, after dinner, I noticed a peculiar dark brown dollop on the carpet in the den. The girls had eaten chocolate pudding. Could it be pudding? Could it be something else? Why yes of course it was something else. Apparently Jack, our dog, had had an accident.

Sh*t!

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I'm Jamie, a 40-something Nashville mom desperately seeking a few moments of Zen and zinfandel between soccer practice and supper. I love to travel, find great deals, and talk with my hands. My former beach bartender husband founded MouseCalls Computer Services. We have two daughters, three dogs, and too much laundry. Email me at blondemomblog @ gmail.com.

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Comments

  1. Ew…not a good way to start any day…especially a Monday after vacation.

    Hopefully things are more settled and back to normal now!

    Beth_C’s last blog post..Quick conversation with Sarah on turning four.

  2. I’ll second that sh*t. We’re getting ready for the great potty training adventure 2008 and I can only imagine the sh*t that will happen. Ugh.

    Jill’s last blog post..Wild Child

  3. With children, somedays it feels like we’re surrounded by shit.

    Jennifer’s last blog post..Soap Porn

  4. sh*t – that really stinks!

    Hope your Thursday is going better than your Monday!

    Lisa’s last blog post..Sisters

  5. Oh hell Jamie. That’s awful. So sorry. Poor Miss thing. I know she was just mortified.

    rachel’s last blog post..We all have to fake it sometimes

  6. This is why I’m glad I don’t have kids…

    Melinda’s last blog post..still waiting on that package

  7. “Monday mornings hit me in the face like a whiff of ripe garbage.”

    Ugh, I think all mornings hit me in the face like that

    Krissi from Krississippi’s last blog post..Shame on Me – Something Hard to Admit

  8. Hey Blonde Mom! Good one today! Thanks for the comments. I didn’t get you emailed back yet – but glad you saw you’re my daily read. :) Glad to share the humor. Thanks for stopping by my site!
    Toast2Mom

    Toast 2 Mom’s last blog post..Tale of the Pink Bone

  9. It’s amazing how blase you get about sh*t when you’re a mom!

    Don Mills Diva’s last blog post..Spanking gone wild

  10. well… on the up side at least she didn’t step in the poop and make poopy footprints all over her room…

    being a mommy can be so gross can’t it?

    Tara R’s last blog post..Who Are You?

  11. Do you, like me, sometimes wonder why we chose to children AND pets? I mean really! We’re masochists, right? Or certifiable! Who in there right minds has two sets of “beings” that need to be fed, watered, walked and cleaned up afterwards?

    But they’re so cute…!!

    Malia’s last blog post..Sunscream and Stones

  12. Yeah, I woulda said the same thing. Both times.

    heather’s last blog post..Thankful Thursday – Healthy Check Up

  13. Sometimes when it rains it pours….poop that is.

    Hugs,
    Holly

  14. OH, sh*t. Today is MY Monday after vacation. I don’t even want to think about all the possibilities of wrongness that might be awaiting me.

    Jennilu’s last blog post..Savannah Smiles

  15. You know when you have to go you have to go. Plus she probably doesn’t like the feel of it in the pullups! This is funny, I know it is frustrating, but you will cherish this memory a lifetime from now. I still love the moments that I remember my middle son doing silly things concerning his poo. He was very creative!

    Kathy@brazoscowgirl’s last blog post..Texas Governor’s Mansion Fire Damaged

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  18. This is a cool post about rugs and there prices,
    Thanks for such an informative post.

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