Rubber Ducky, You’re The One…Driving Me Insane

Filed under: My Girls, Parenting — Blonde Mom at 6:08 am on Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Whenever we go to a public swimming pool, I inevitably attract the Child Who Will Not Shut The Hell Up.

I’m fine with entertaining my own girls at the pool and tag teaming with the hubby as far as the tending to floaties, sunscreen, and pleas to “Catch Me!” for the 800th time, but my patience wears thin for the the child Who Will Not Shut The Hell Up. Look kid, I didn’t give birth to you, so shoo! Off with ye now! I’m on vacation!

We’re at the glorious beach at my stepmom’s cool pink condo in the Florida Panhandle, and on Saturday we went swimming and inevitably met an 11-year-old girl (yes I know how old she was because she told me that morsel of information along with a thousand others) who became the token Child Who Will Not Shut The Hell Up. The girls were enamored with her collection of butterfly, turtle, and killer whale rafts, and while they scrambled on the flotilla menagerie, slippery with sunscreen, I listened to the Child Who Will Not Shut The Hell Up talk for the sake of talking.

Much to my horror, as she and her family packed up to leave the pool, she tossed the girls three rubber ducky toys that they were more than thrilled to squeak ALL NIGHT LONG.

I must now arrange for the trio of yellow rubber ducks to get left behind as we head home. It’s a dirty job, this motherhood business, but I must preserve my sanity.

27 Comments »

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Comment by: Anne

May 27, 2008 @ 6:21 am

After reading this post I suddenly realized that I may have been that child back in the day. Wow. Sorry people.

And hey, will you ask your stepmom if she needs any more stepchildren because I am available.

Anne’s last blog post..bathing suits

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Comment by: Blonde Mom

May 27, 2008 @ 7:10 am

Anne:

I’m fairly sure I’m guilty of being the Woman Who Would Not Shut The Hell Up, so no worries.

Ha!

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Comment by: Sarah Kimmel

May 27, 2008 @ 7:11 am

My Sister has “that kid” come over to her house all the time. It’s her kid’s friend, but she always constantly wants to hang out and talk to my sister. My sister is like… I don’t pay this much attention to my OWN kids, why would I pay it to you! She always makes the kid go play with her kids instead.

Sarah Kimmel’s last blog post..Time Mis-Management Traps

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Comment by: Sonia

May 27, 2008 @ 7:52 am

You need to arrange “a hit” on the squeaker toys.

Sonia’s last blog post..I’m Seeing the Light At the End of the Paint Can

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Comment by: bill

May 27, 2008 @ 7:53 am

Perhaps that kid has a future in politics?

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Comment by: Jennilu

May 27, 2008 @ 8:21 am

That’s funny, I didn’t know that Kaylea was in the FL panhandle this weekend! But isn’t she cute, though?

As for the ducks, why don’t you suggest that your girls pass on the “gifts” to some other children, just like they were passed on to them.

Wish I was with you. We will be at the beach soon enough, though. Have a great time!

Jennilu’s last blog post..Greenhouse Flatulence??????

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Comment by: Jolly Green Dad

May 27, 2008 @ 8:49 am

Ohh yes, and there is the kid that wont shut up that keeps following your family at the beach and acts like he is a member of your family….ug…..we had one of those this weekend.

Jolly Green Dad’s last blog post..Memorial Day

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Comment by: themommykelly

May 27, 2008 @ 8:57 am

Might I suggest a more secluded vacation spot? … Nah, don’t bother, these kids will find you anywhere! Maybe earplugs?

themommykelly’s last blog post..You Know You Are Pregnant When…

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Comment by: DBN

May 27, 2008 @ 9:11 am

That kid makes me batty! I seem to draw them in as well, but I have found that ignoring them helps. I don’t get it though, I don’t let MY kids bother random strangers, and really no one should.

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Comment by: Domestic Spaz

May 27, 2008 @ 9:40 am

Oy! I too attract these children. I ignore them as much as possible and try to look interested in something else (a book, an adult conversation, ANYTHING).

Domestic Spaz’s last blog post..Book A Week Giveaway - Confessions Of A Slacker Wife

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Comment by: Holly Schwendiman

May 27, 2008 @ 11:23 am

Hee hee - well at least you got a fun vacation out of the torture.

Hugs,
Holly

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Comment by: Deb - Mom of 3 Girls

May 27, 2008 @ 11:50 am

Unfortunately I seem to be the mom of the exact child you’re describing. And it drives me bonkers too that Abby will just not leave people alone sometimes. Thankfully though, she does seem to listen to at least some of the many times I find myself telling her to “leave so-and-so alone!” or “Just let them be!”. At least for now.
Deb - Mom of 3 Girls’s last blog post..Tackle It Tuesday #35 - Beautifying Becca’s room

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Comment by: Jennifer

May 27, 2008 @ 11:52 am

I always attract the PEOPLE who won’t shut up…kids, adults, EVERYONE who has the ability to talk endlessly finds me. And talks. And talks. And talks.

Jennifer’s last blog post..Chickity China, The Chinese Chicken, Have A Drumstick and Your Brain Starts Tickin’

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Comment by: michellew

May 27, 2008 @ 12:20 pm

I feel your pain on this one. I’ve never commented before, but I love your blog.

michellew’s last blog post..The Guests Have Arrived!

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Comment by: Amy

May 27, 2008 @ 12:46 pm

Well that’s Shark Boy. Never met a stranger. Ever.

On behalf of parents of Extremely Friendly Kids Who Will Not Shut The Hell Up - Sorry!

Amy’s last blog post..When Back Fat Is Sweet!

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Comment by: Jill

May 27, 2008 @ 12:54 pm

Oh, I can so relate. We also have some adults at our pool that won’t STHU either (unless they are drinking their beer). Ugh. Hope you had a great beach trip! I’m off to visit Savvy Housewife.

Jill’s last blog post..And They Call It a Holiday?

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Comment by: heather

May 27, 2008 @ 2:17 pm

….or you could just send those duckies to our house. Our Ladybug is seriously in love with her duckies. If she weren’t in love with nursing, I would say her duckie is her lovey.

heather’s last blog post..Wearing My Woddler

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Comment by: Paloma

May 27, 2008 @ 2:58 pm

Ugh, we have one of those kids in the neighborhood. Srsly. Shut up already.

Paloma’s last blog post..Stop Being Sucky

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Comment by: Pam

May 27, 2008 @ 5:18 pm

I’m married to The Man Who Will Not Shut The Hell Up. I feel your pain.

Pam’s last blog post..Sunday Funnies

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Comment by: Mof2

May 27, 2008 @ 5:31 pm

Lol…So funny! My child would probably be pegged the child who would not shut the hell up by other parents. Because well whenever we are at a social setting like that she finds the nearest adult and starts conversing with them about whatever is on her mind at the moment. You would think that we never let her talk at home. But that just ain’t so. Her mouth runs 100 mph 24/7! But I love her!! : )

Mof2’s last blog post..Creative Juices are Flowing!

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Comment by: Going Crunchy

May 27, 2008 @ 6:03 pm

Oh, funny! I followed the link from Sunshine’s blog and you are too funny!

I have one of those in my neighborhood and he drives me insane. He is also a huge tattler on anything and it is rather exhausting. It is like he has a radar on me and the kids being out.

Don’t get me wrong, I’d never be icky to the little guy. His parents just don’t interact with him enough and he is rather starved for attention.

And yep, I always attract the kids when out. I’m a kid person and I seem to have a sign on my forehead that flashes neon to come and play.

Going Crunchy’s last blog post..High Hopes for the Pea Plant

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Comment by: Amy

May 27, 2008 @ 7:50 pm

That ALWAYS happens to me and I get the random people who won’t shut up too and talk my ear off all day every day I think you are too cute and nice- that is why they pick you, my friend

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Comment by: Toast 2 Mom

May 27, 2008 @ 8:43 pm

I’ve met a few kids like this before! It’s a toss up between a kid like this and an adult who uses you as a therapist for all of their problems. I seem to attract those people too.
P.S. the beach sounds great!

Toast 2 Mom’s last blog post..Bruiser

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Comment by: Loralee

May 27, 2008 @ 9:58 pm

I live NEXT DOOR TO THAT KID.

That is one of the upsides of moving in the next three days.

Loralee’s last blog post..Sideblog: If you are going include edits in your posts, you should strive to make them THIS funny.

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Comment by: Don Mills Diva

May 28, 2008 @ 9:53 am

Sometimes the ducks just have to take the fall, that’s just how it is.

I got trapped by a kid like that in the doctor’s office a while ago - I felt like saying “I don’t CARE how much you know about dinosaurs, I have a new People magazine here!”

Don Mills Diva’s last blog post..To what do I owe the pleasure of your company?

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Comment by: Amy

May 28, 2008 @ 11:25 am

I wonder what makes them like that, cause I’m pretty sure I have at least 2 kids who are like that (maybe not to that level cause I try to control it if I am around). Maybe I’m not giving them enough attention? Or maybe too much and that is why they always demand it from other adults (this one makes me feel better :()? My older two just like to be around the adults more than the children. But you must have a lot of patience and that is why they stay.