Glory Be, Chocolate and Pee
Getting ready for school this morning was a little bit rougher than usual because we’ve been on Spring Break Standard Time since last Monday and yesterday there was no school in our county for teacher inservice. I am still waiting for spring to show up at our doorstep with a pitcher of margaritas or fruit tea. Old Man Winter, slovenly and unshaven, torments me instead. Go hibernate for the winter already old man! And hello, Mother Nature? Snow flurries in March? You know you’re ready for spring when you and your husband both declare you will never live further North than Tennessee. Repeat after me, “Beach in May…beach in May…beach in May.” I need some sand in my flip flops, stat. The good news is it’s supposed to be 71 degrees here Thursday. It’s usually about this time every year that I make my annual Home Depot Garden Center run and decide to shave my legs daily.
Here are a few outtakes from the past week as I recover from Spring Break Standard Time and the mass consumption of sugar as I save the girls from certain sugar overload:
(At the Cracker Barrel) Don’t flush the potty! Let mommy do it with her foot.
(At home) Honey please don’t stick your foot in the potty.
No, no, NO! Don’t use that towel baby, it’s got pee all over it.
Miss A please don’t draw on your Easter dress.
You can have a chocolate egg if you get dressed, OKAY?
Miss C come here, you’ve got toilet paper sticking out of your pants.
Oh, that egg does have nuts in it. Give it to Mommy. I’ll eat it.
Me, to Miss A: Let me help you get your panties on straight Miss Tinker-butt.
Miss C chiming in from the next room: Mommy, it’s BOTTOM!
Something that is said frequently in our house, “Stop picking your nose. That is gross.” Or the wonderful, “Please don’t talk to me while you are pooping.”
