I'm just another working mom seeking a few moments of Zen and zinfandel between soccer practice and supper. My former beach bartender husband founded MouseCalls Computer Services here in Nashville. I believe laughter is the best medicine, especially when regularly administered with a good glass of wine, or three. Email me at blondemomblog@gmail.com

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Glory Be, Chocolate and Pee

Getting ready for school this morning was a little bit rougher than usual because we’ve been on Spring Break Standard Time since last Monday and yesterday there was no school in our county for teacher inservice. I am still waiting for spring to show up at our doorstep with a pitcher of margaritas or fruit tea. Old Man Winter, slovenly and unshaven, torments me instead. Go hibernate for the winter already old man! And hello, Mother Nature? Snow flurries in March? You know you’re ready for spring when you and your husband both declare you will never live further North than Tennessee. Repeat after me, “Beach in May…beach in May…beach in May.” I need some sand in my flip flops, stat. The good news is it’s supposed to be 71 degrees here Thursday. It’s usually about this time every year that I make my annual Home Depot Garden Center run and decide to shave my legs daily.

Here are a few outtakes from the past week as I recover from Spring Break Standard Time and the mass consumption of sugar as I save the girls from certain sugar overload:

(At the Cracker Barrel) Don’t flush the potty! Let mommy do it with her foot.

(At home) Honey please don’t stick your foot in the potty.

No, no, NO! Don’t use that towel baby, it’s got pee all over it.

Miss A please don’t draw on your Easter dress.

You can have a chocolate egg if you get dressed, OKAY?

Miss C come here, you’ve got toilet paper sticking out of your pants.

Oh, that egg does have nuts in it. Give it to Mommy. I’ll eat it.

Me, to Miss A: Let me help you get your panties on straight Miss Tinker-butt.

Miss C chiming in from the next room: Mommy, it’s BOTTOM!

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19 responses to “Glory Be, Chocolate and Pee”

  1. Amy

    Oh wow! What a week!

    Shark is on Spring Break this week and I’m wishing we had made plans to be at the beach.

    Amy’s last blog post..A Smack on the Ass and A Kick in the Teeth

  2. bill

    You have an absolute gift for titles!

  3. mamatulip

    I am still waiting for spring to show up at our doorstep with a pitcher of margaritas or fruit tea.

    ME TOO. I am looking out my kitchen window and watching the SNOW fall and I am thinking about how OVER THIS WINTER I am.

    And like, I’m the Canuck who usually LIKES winter.

    mamatulip’s last blog post..Sound bytes: The ?What?s taking so damn long, spring?? edition

  4. Jenni

    I remember when Toots used to correct me every time I would read the word “but” (the conjunction) in a story.

    Enjoy the break, or non-break, I guess!

    Jenni’s last blog post..Given The Choice, I’d Rather Clean Vomit

  5. Loralee

    I am jealous of your 71 degrees. It’s still too early to consider planting here. :S

    Loralee’s last blog post..Self-Portrait Challenge: Political

  6. Shannanb aka Mommy Bits

    You are so funny. Sounds like a busy week. I once called my son “sugar buns” and it totally threw him for a loop. He later asked me if his rear was really made of sugar. I could have died.

    Shannanb aka Mommy Bits’s last blog post..I would have paid you $50 NOT to steal it

  7. Amy

    Ha! The things I never thought I would say…all right there :) Something that is said frequently in our house, “Stop picking your nose. That is gross.” Or the wonderful, “Please don’t talk to me while you are pooping.”

  8. OHmommy

    Snow flurries in Nashville? LOL!

    I too am hoping Spring arrives. Real spring.

    OHmommy’s last blog post..Classy Chaos Has Moved

  9. Anne

    we have a pee towel almost every day at our house. What a sad sad commentary.

    Anne’s last blog post..In a nutshell

  10. PreSchool Mama

    Hilarious! We’ve passed the pee towels phase, although we still have to do some practise aiming for the bowl.

    Great comments all!

    PreSchool Mama’s last blog post..How to Develop an Appreciation for Music: PreSchool Music Activities

  11. Richie Ann

    We enjoy the moniker StinkerBelle!

  12. Lisa

    You & I are going to band together & kick some Old Man winter butt (oops – I mean bottom!)

    I was uber-bad mama the other day & gave my kids peanut butter eggs with breakfast. Lulu’s diaper showed me that was a bad idea about two hours later.

    Lisa’s last blog post..Dear Mother Nature,

  13. Jennifer

    Amazing the things that come out of our and our children’s mouths.

    Amen to kicking out that jerk old man winter. Be gone you old fool!

    Jennifer’s last blog post..For the Love of All That is Holy, Can

  14. Erin

    hilarious. so you are one of those moms who flushes public toilets with her feet? LOL
    I wish ANYONE would show up at my door with a pitcher of Margaritas. Please.

    Erin’s last blog post..Ten Things You Should Do Before Marriage…

  15. new zealand tourism

    Your posts always make me smile! I am on Spring Break Standard time currently so hopefully this coming Monday will not be quite like that for me.

  16. molly

    On Easter I made the comment, “I don’t think I’ve ever seen snow on Easter.” Then of course it snowed the day after. Crazy.
    So ready for summer!

  17. cazino im internet

    cazino im internet…

    methodology butterflies boxwood outcasts?beached …

  18. Travel

    Very nice information. Thanks for this.

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