Growing Older, But Not Up

Yesterday as I did some serious white girl dance moves through the house, putting away folded pastel cotton turtlenecks and the hubby’s briefs while Groove is in the Heart by Deee-Lite blared from our stereo speakers I asked myself:

When am I going to grow up?

Any way, that is neither here nor there, because I have an excuse to post this smokin’ photo of an actor who is my age who may have to grow up just a little now that he is going to be a daddy.

mm.jpg


Did you have to do a lot of growing up when you became a parent? I’ll never forget the pat explanation one of my girlfriends gave about what life was like once you became a parent. “Well it’s not like you all go out and party every weekend any more, so your life doesn’t really change that much.” In retrospect that oversimplification of life after kids seems really comical. This was also my friend who told me about the mesh panties they hand you after you have a baby, God bless her. At least she was candid about the impending state of my nether regions.

I was almost 32 when I had Miss C and I was as ready as I could possibly be. The hubby and I had been married for five years when I got pregnant. We had the mortgage, the ranch style house with a fenced-in backyard, and we shopped at Home Depot and WalMart. It was time.

I had a few years in my early 20s of going out every weekend with my roommate to see local bands, but working full-time and paying rent quickly made being responsible, and not spending all my hard earned money on overpriced drinks, appealing. Settling down and becoming a homebody happened years before I became a mother, not afterwards.

What about you? Did becoming a parent force you to “settle down?”

25 comments

  1. killlashandra says:

    Yeah for groove is in the heart! Ok, I admit, I do some white girl moves when that songs comes on the radio too. I got a great giggle out of the reference. 😉

    My husband came pretty settled with two kids when I married him, but not settled enough by the time our third child entered the picture. Two years later we have the house, the mortgage, truck payments, three dogs, and two horses. Yeah, feeling pretty settled right now.

    killlashandra’s last blog post..Switching to LED Lights

  2. tammy b says:

    for me, it was making real meals 3x a day, every day. no more eating when we felt like it, or having a hugely non-balanced meal or something.

  3. Alli ~Mrs. Fussypants says:

    “Let the winds of time blow over my head. I’d rather die while I’m livin’ than live while I’m dead.” -JB

    Are you cravin’ a margarita, too? 😉

    Alli ~Mrs. Fussypants’s last blog post..Fussy Makes a Beautiful Earring Display

  4. Nichole says:

    I was never all that unsettled to begin with. Of course, that’s only regarding the clubs, etc. We still don’t own a house or a fence.

    For what it’s worth, you don’t need an excuse to post the McConaughey.

  5. Jennifer says:

    I used to love that song, now it’ll be stick in my head all day:) I am one of those oddlings where all I dreamed about when I got older was getting married and having babies, not so much about a career. I was never a bar/club gal so it wasn’t too much of a change for me. Biggest change was having kids with acid reflux consintly throwing up on me every day for months and months, sure don’t miss those days.

    Jennifer’s last blog post..Tip of the Week

  6. Mrs. M says:

    As we’ve discussed I’m a bit of an old lady anyway and quite a homebody. Having a baby would mean I was a homebody with a kid on my boob and a dirty diaper in the floor. 🙂

  7. Bluegrass Mama says:

    We had the house and mortgage already, too, but it was still amazing how much parenthood changed our lifestyle. Not that we really missed it, though I am looking forward to the freedom again when we’re empty nesters.

    I actually had to follow the link to figure out who the actor is the picture is. Apparently they’re not as settled as we were, having skipped the whole “marriage” thing.

    Bluegrass Mama’s last blog post..Uber-recycling

  8. lisel stone says:

    God, I could just gobble him up. This is news to me. Are they getting married? That would make me sad as I have a secret fantasy that one day, I could be Mrs. Matthew McConaughey.

    I think there is no way you can understand how much parenting is going to change your life until you do it. I do have days when I miss my pre-children life, but I think about how unhappy I would be if I were at my current age, unmarried, and childless. We still go to see bands occasionally (though not much happens here in Knoxville—one thing we really miss about Nashville). The thing is, it’s not as much fun knowing you have to be up at 6:30 am and ready to take on the day with two small children who don’t understand hangovers.

    lisel stone’s last blog post..I Have Seen the Promised Land

  9. Paytonsmomma says:

    I’m way young to have a 15 month old but if it wasn’t for him I’d be so irresponsible I wasn’t the party every weekend type but I really never thought of anyone but myself. (Typical teenager!) BUT I wouldn’t trade the sit-on-the-couch-at-3am-because-baby’s-teething-and
    won’tsleep-a-wink lifestyle for ANYTHING!

  10. sweatpantsmom says:

    While becoming parents requires a certain amount of ‘settling down’ (probably wouldn’t look good to drag the baby to happy hour everyday) I think the whole idea of a drastic change once you give birth is what gives parenting a bad name.

    We know couples that will barely stay out past ten now, feign no knowledge of popular music and seem unable to discuss the plot of any movie unless it involves princesses and talking frogs.

    Gosh I’m long winded. Better head to happy hour.

    sweatpantsmom’s last blog post..Well, At Least It Wasn’t “My Humps”

  11. Lisa says:

    Hubby & I were on the younger side when we had Goosey. I was just turning twenty-six. We’d been married for three years though, and are both “old souls”. That being said, the biggest change was not being able to do whatever we wanted whenever we wanted to. We were good at doing things with our couple friends, going out on lots of dates, etc…..and then we had to worry about this little lady! But we were ready for it – it was what we had been praying for. Now we still listen to popular music, I watch way too much trash TV (although not with the little ladies around….don’t want them to think their mama isn’t classy!) and now that there is no baby on the boob, take plenty of time for “us”...or at least try to.
    That picture of Matthew is smokin’. Seriously…do you think Hubby will mind if I call him Matt tonight???

    Lisa’s last blog post..I love my job!

  12. Jacki says:

    You know, I didn’t have any growing up to do, per se. But life completely changed for me when I got pregnant. She was a surprise, I was living in Denmark and Peter and I had just started dating. So definitely had to make some life-changing decisions (oh, marriage for one….and moving back to the US instead of staying in Denmark)in a short amount of time and temporarily give up some dreams, like traveling the world. 🙂

    Jacki’s last blog post..She’s Been Tagged!

  13. Southern Mom says:

    Oh my…I totally had to really talk myself out of licking my screen! I just told hubby while making supper tonight that my dreams of running off with MM have been crushed. He was SO amused. (Never mind I have 3 kids myself!)

    Hubs and I were married 4 years when our first son was born (I was just about to turn 26), but we were never the wild and crazy party-type newlyweds. I have no recollection of life before kids at this particular moment…so I guess things didn’t change for us that much!

  14. Blonde Mom says:

    It’s interesting to read everyone’s experiences with becoming a parent!

    I know by the time we were married (I was 27) I was way more into us staying home on the weekends than going out.

    Of course now that we have kids we sometimes struggle to find the time to go out, and we really need that break! 😉

  15. Z says:

    I do not have children yet, so I have no idea how babies will affect my life. I can only imagine, and yet at the same time, I fear I am imagining wrong. But… that being said… with no children, I am still “settled.” I prefer staying in to going out, I save my money and have an IRA, I’m free of debt (for now), etc etc. So when I have babies in the future, I am sure they will disrupt my life in ways I cannot even begin to imagine, but they will not be the factor that causes me to “settle down.”

    And nothing, ever, will stop me from rocking out to blasting music while I fold the clothes or do the dishes. Groove on! 😉

    Z’s last blog post..Quote

  16. mothergoosemouse says:

    Groove is in the Heart…fraternity parties and cheap beer.

    Interesting question. My party girl phases have been more like a rollercoaster, even after having kids. I’m pretty sure it has leveled out now though. Bunco night is the extent of my craziness (when I’m not pregnant, that is).

    mothergoosemouse’s last blog post..Neither deceptive nor delicious

  17. Anne says:

    Thank you for posting a picture of my husband. I have had the biggest crush on MM since his early work…we were even at UT together (though I didn’t know it at the time)...unfortunately, I like a little more when he isn’t talking. (hello you FREEK!) but dang…smoking hot pic. rawr.

    Shan and I were married for 7 years before having kids, and I was close to 30 when my first was born, so by that time I was pretty chilled out.

    Anne’s last blog post..keep it moving.

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