Miss C has a new phrase she blurts out when she’s flustered:

“Oh my God!”

We immediately correct her and tell her she can say “Oh my gosh” or “Oh my goodness.” This way she sounds more like a Southern genteel little lady, than a bubble headed Valley Girl.

My inner bubble headed Valley Girl comes out sometimes. This is an awesome quality in a 38-year-old woman. (Like, totally! Fer sure!)

I was stuck in traffic and like I was late for work again.

This diaper is like totally grody dude!

Like, gag me with a sippy cup!

OK, you get the picture.

I was in 8th grade when Valley Girl hit movie theatres and about as far removed from the California Valley Girl scene as possible. In high school I was just another big haired, small town Tennessee teenage girl mired deep in the land of monster trucks and Hank Williams Jr. and chewing tobacco and sneaking coolers to field parties and cruising McDonald’s. But alone in my room I’d plop down on my bedroom floor to watch Duran Duran on Friday Night Videos on my 13-inch color TV with the rabbit ear antennae (I had a huge crush on Simon Le Bon) and I’d listen to my brother’s U2 albums or crank my Blondie cassette tape and sing Rapture over and over. At college parties I’d be introduced to the moody magnificence of Depeche Mode (dubbed Depressed Commode by the hubby) and the Cure and Modern English.

I have to admit I heart the whole pop culture scene of the 80s: John Hughes films, big hair, leggings, spritz.

It was totally awesome, dude.

You just won’t catch me wearing leggings or skinny jeans today, but I did let my niece, who is a sophomore at Vanderbilt, borrow a pair of black leggings last year for an 80s theme frat party. I knew they would come back in style some day!

Totally. 

Miss C had her first ever swimming lesson yesterday.

She was beyond excited, but I could tell she was nervous when the instructor told her she wouldn’t be needing her trusty yellow floaties from home.

Oh no!

The yellow floaties buoy her confidence, no pun intended. For a split second I knew she was teetering precariously on the edge of crying fearfully and refusing to get in the water or trusting her instructor and going for it. She went for it. I was bursting with mama pride.

I wasn’t sure if I should hang out just outside the indoor pool area and read a book or sit on a bench right by the pool, so I took my cue from the other mom to a 5-year-old and stayed poolside.

I am so glad I did.

p.s. When a mom notes that their child is “flaky” and said child hits the swim instructor with a pool noodle, do you think they really mean “bratty?”

I’ve finally settled in to my new office at work. I’ve set out my family pictures and my dying lucky bamboo.

I often find myself gazing longingly out my NEW HUGE WINDOW.

I can’t tell you what a difference the natural light makes after being in a windowless office with the ambience of a broom closet. I can tell you if it’s hazy, sunny, cloudy, partly cloudy, partly sunny, hailing, raining cats and dogs, drizzling rain, or spitting snow. Want to e-mail me and ask me what the weather’s like? Go ahead!

This is the sixth office I’ve occupied at my company in six years. Granted my entire company moved from another building about three years ago and there were at least three departmental moves this most recent round, but I am hoping this office “sticks.” Through the years at the other two companies I worked for I experienced the full monty of workplace setups: the shared cubicle where I literally rubbed elbows with my office mate and heard all her “business,” the private cubicle where I could kick off my shoes in peace, a private office without a window, and a shared office without a window.

I’m definitely staking out my new office because not only do I have a window, but I am now directly across from the kitchen slash break room, which, as we all know, is the hub of workplace action. I can keep tabs on the days bagels are brought in to celebrate a big sale, the all-important coffee supply, the people who never put their dirty coffee mug in the dishwasher, and the People magazine stash. I think I’ll sprinkle some extra bagel crumbs into the crevices of my keyboard to stake my claim.

I’ve already managed to insert my foot in my mouth by talking about how much I love having a window to one of my co-workers who reminded me that she works in a cubicle. (I’m in good company, though, with the FIMD.)

Come to think of it, maybe I need to bring bagels for everyone tomorrow before a secret plot to move me to the mail room starts brewing. Of course a situation like this may call for Krispy Kreme extra glazed.

The hubby and I firmly believe in educational TV for the girls.

For example, a little dose of Sponge Bob at night allows he and I to have some much coveted peace at the dinner table and exposes the girls to the wonders of ocean life and the importance of holding down a respectable job in the restaurant industry, not to mention the joy of cooking. That Sponge Bob whips up a mean krabby patty!

The hubby and the girls have a new post-dinner tradition of watching Tivo’d Price is Right reruns. During the opening “Come On Down!” segment, the girls jump up and down on the couch with more exuberance than I could possibly muster over the course of an entire week (unless, of course, I find a great pair of shoes on clearance at TJ Maxx or Target.) Miss C can actually recite, almost verbatim, the intro script. See, who says TV isn’t educational?

Their favorite part is the showcase, but it’s long-time host Bob Barker who has wooed the girls with his silver hair and good looks, especially Miss C.

Miss C walked up to me the other morning, sleepy and bleary eyed and said, quite seriously, “Mommy, I need to tell you a secret.”

I braced myself, thinking she wanted to confide in me some important revelation about kindergarten.

She leaned in to whisper in my ear.

“Last night I had a dream about Bob Barker.”

Yes, it’s true. She dreamed that she met Bob Barker and he gave her a big hug.

We’re already trying to track down an autographed picture of him for Miss C.

Real Simple sent me a their special family issue which made my day a little brighter seeing as I’m a magazine junkie and have been a fan of their publication for a while. Their Back-to-School 101 Guide is full of great ideas.

I was out birthday shopping for my best friend last week and spotted an entire display of Vera Bradley stationery and office supplies. I cannot resist elegant and special paper products, which is a love I inherited from my mother. This cute paperback cover on sale at VeraBradley.com would be a fun gift and make your paperback choice more mysterious (and stylish.)

If you’re in the market for a new mama mobile, one that is resilient to a 2-year-old kicking it in the back of its seats and being pelted with Cheerios, you must check out Mother Proof. I was surfing for information on the Chrysler Pacifica and found Mother Proof, which is a fun car review site written (and well-written I might add) by moms for moms.

Do you have sad, broken crayons at your house? Recycle them into chubby crayons! I mentioned this yesterday, but we made these bad boys and they are a big hit.

Design Mom has the most amazing giveaways I want to keep them to myself. Check out this Twisted Silver beautiful jewelry giveaway. (Time’s up tomorrow night!)

And last, some shameless self promotion. Don’t forget about the 25% Thermaclear discount good through Sept. 3 if you use the super secret code BLONDEMOM when purchasing their acne treatment system. And there is always a 10 percent discount if you register with Sitter City through my blog (scroll down to see the spiffy ad at the bottom of my blog page.)

Visit me at the Colorado Grand Junction Haute Mamas where I praise the infinite wisdom of BTDT Mamas.

Have a great weekend!

p.s. If there are any car dealers who want a real soccer mom to test drive their luxury SUVs, uh…you know how to contact me (points over to the right.) The girls and I would look awesome cruising around in a Lincoln Navigator. (Pssst…Miss C wants mama to drive a blue car.)

You have to be a long time Jimmy Buffett fan to know I’m referencing a song from 1975.

Oh no, don’t tell me you’re a Parrothead and then admit your repertoire of classic Buffett only includes Cheeseburger in Paradise and Come Monday.

I’ve resisted the urge to write about the heat wave that has taken over Nashville the past two weeks (it’s 103 degrees outside as I type this), but BUT it’s making me crazy. It’s so hot no one is going outside and our schools even ran on a half-day schedule this week. I know, I know. I’m a wimp. But we also haven’t had rain in weeks and our lawn is dead and our trees are losing leaves like it’s fall and I’m starting to daydream about cool crisp mornings and colorful fall leaves and wearing soft comfy sweaters and my favorite black boots with jeans and…oh wait a minute we won’t have any colorful fall leaves because ALL OF OUR TREES ARE DYING BECAUSE IT HASN’T RAINED IN WEEKS!

OK, bear with me, I’m a little cranky today since Miss C, who gets nothing less than smiley face stamps daily for excellent behavior at kindergarten, is fluctuating between acting like a perfect angel and a spoiled brat. Also, my wireless Internet connection keeps hiccuping on me.

I came up with a couple of fun indoor projects to entertain the girls this afternoon.

We baked chocolate chip cookies (the break and bake kind.)

And we made these fun crayon cookies from old broken crayons. Here’s our finished product. They look like crayon bottle caps or Reese’s Cups.

Both activities required the use of the oven, which obviously means I’m not thinking clearly. Tomorrow we may fry eggs on the pavement just for giggles.

We should be making popsicles and daiquiris.

p.s. it looks like a “cool front” is on it’s way…yea

When someone from Huggies asked if I would like to review their new Cool Alert Pull Ups it took me about .2 seconds to say, “Bring ‘em on!”

Unfortunately Miss A loves to wear the spiffy Disney Princess Cool Alert Pull Ups so much that she doesn’t ever want to take them off, which entirely defeats the purpose of training pants. I actually had to hide them since her addiction was bordering on that of the strawberry milk fiasco. And who can blame Miss A for wanting to wear them as they are much more stylish than the generic training pants I buy. She is, after all, a fashionista in training.

Miss A moved to a new room at daycare three weeks ago and her new teacher is gung ho on the potty training, God Bless Her Soul. She’s so diligent about it that I’m feeling a little guilty for slacking at home. Cough. Any way, there’s nothing like a little potty peer pressure. I also bought a new Dora potty seat and Dora underwear to further sweeten the pot, so to speak.

Yesterday Miss A stayed dry all day at daycare (!) and she also told me she had to go potty when we were out last night. We’re making progress at home, but I’ve learned that while you can lead a toddler to the potty, you can’t necessarily make them use it every time, even with the enticement of big girl panties. Cheap stickers and suckers, however, work well as positive reinforcement.

So I’m going to give a neutral review of the Cool Alert Pull Ups. Miss A is making a lot of progress on the potty training front, but it doesn’t seem to matter what type of training pants she’s wearing.

At least she’s not taken to wearing them on her head, like Miss C did when she was 2.