Amelia has the urge to bolt as soon as I try to change her diaper. If I could harness the combined mental and physical energy that is sometimes exerted by the two of us while I wrestle a diaper on her booty, we could probably light a small village.
A catalog specializing in baby and toddler products arrived in our mailbox recently. I usually flip through the glossy pages and mentally window shop for things I don’t really need, but could convince myself I can’t live without, however I pity the fool who buys one of these new-fangled shirt suspender thangs for their child. I can barely diaper and fasten snaps on Ameliaâ€™s outfits without her attempting to escape my clutches, so I canâ€™t imagine her calmly lying still while I fasten a suspender under her booty so that her shirt stays tucked in. And if you are the kind of parent who is that concerned about your childâ€™s shirt staying tucked in then youâ€™ve got a lot more time on your hands than me. I guess what I’m asking is, “WHAT KIND OF FREAK PARENT WOULD BUY THIS?!?”
I thought Iâ€™d share some of my creative tactics for distracting a 21-month-old during diaper changes, now that simply handing her a toy or singing her a song isnâ€™t captivating enough. And by my calculations I’ve officially changed thousands of diapers which should mean something significant, but really just means I’ve seen every vintage of poop known to man (from early meconium poop to breastmilk mustard seed poop to poop explosions that seep up the back to solidified rabbit pellet poop.)
Silly Foreign Language Babble
Start speaking a crazy, foreign tongue as if you are carrying on a very lively conversation with your child. This is also very amusing to my 4-year-old. Thankfully I donâ€™t have to use the Silly Foreign Language Babble technique to get Caitlin to use the potty. Now that would be a hoot, wouldnâ€™t it? (Especially in public restrooms.)
Change of Scenery
Plop your kid on the sofa, their older siblingâ€™s bed, the breakfast bar, the hood of a non-moving vehicle…anywhere but their changing table can serve as a distraction.
You Got a Panty on Your Head Mama
Put your child’s dress bloomers over your head like a smart beret. Well, this only works with girls. Remember to take the bloomers off your head, though, or it could be quite embarassing.
Fun With Ordinary Household Objects
Pick some random item for your child to play with, whether it be a plastic clothes hanger, an old TV remote, or maybe a sealed pack of mints they can shake, although Amelia can gnaw through the seal in about .2 seconds before I have to take it away from her.
This is my least favorite technique, as Amelia inevitably wriggles from my hold and runs away, diaperless, and laughing her head off.
Feel free to share any tips you have for distracting your buck wild toddler and getting them horizontal long enough for a diaper change.