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I'm a 41-year-old mom to two girls ages 8 and 5 desperately seeking sanity. I'm an editor and social media coordinator in business publishing. My husband, a former beach bartender, founded MouseCalls Computer Services here in Nashville. We have two mutts, three crabs, two frogs, and too much laundry. Estrogen and wine flow freely here, so kick off your shoes and come on in!

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I Say Shot, She Says Something Inappropriate

It’s best that parents keep a poker face when their children say something innocently inappropriate. It might be funny, but it isn’t behavior we want to reinforce, like saying “please” or “thank you” or letting mommy use the bathroom without busting down the door. There can be no muffled giggling, no nervous eye twitches…absolutely no indication that something is up.

It’s tough to keep a parents’ poker’s face, however, when your sweet 4-year-old daughter looks at you and says, with all seriousness, “Mommy, I want to play with my doctor shit.”

Me: “You mean your doctor’s kit sweetie?”

Caitlin: “Yes, my doctor’s shit.”

Fast forward a few weeks and Caitlin is playing at our Baptist minister of music neighbor’s house with their little girl. The little girl breaks out her toy doctor’s kit. “Let’s play doctor’s shit!” exclaims Caitlin. Fortunately no one really heard her but me. Whew.

I was hoping we’d left all this in the past but on Saturday when I told Caitlin we were going to the doctor to get a shot, she was genuinely excited about the prospect of a shot, as if it were some exotic locale, and just had to tell her daddy.

“Daddy, I’m going to go get my doctor’s shit today!”

“Caitlin, you mean shot?”

“No, Daddy, I mean shit!”

The flu shot took all of 5 minutes and we stopped by the grocery afterwards, celebrating the girls’ braveness with free sugar cookies for them and a six pack of beer for us. We’re walking down the crowded aisle, pushing Amelia in a car cart barge when suddenly Caitlin starts limping and proclaims:

“My doctor’s shit hurts!”

Sigh…

21 responses to “I Say Shot, She Says Something Inappropriate”

  1. Amanda

    That’s funny!

  2. Charla

    I can relate, girl!

    Once upon a time when my 4.5 year old was around 2, he had a nasty habit of saying “shoo, mama, I smell shit” every time I changed his poopy diaper. THAT, my friend was NOT totally innocent, and was 100% MY FAULT! Sigh.

  3. Your best friend

    Too funny! Cameron yelled out “dang it” quite clearly yesterday. It most certainlly could have been “dam it”. I am going to have to watch it!! Aaron said “dam it” once at the sitters and used it appropriately, I might add. I spelled it wrong on purpose. smiley face here.

  4. Anne

    LMAO! Oh that is awesome…so very awesome. And good on the holiday cheer quotient. You rule!

  5. Pattie

    Oh, out of the mouth of babes I swear…
    I hope when she plays with her doctor’s shit, she is wearing gloves…
    Ewww….I just disgusted myself with that comment…Sorry :)

  6. Bluegrass Mama

    Is it easier to keep a straight face by the tenth time? ;-)

  7. kelli

    I have such a hard time keeping a straight face. Gianna keeps saying “Troll Bitch ” instead of troll bridge. Cracks me up every time.

  8. Erin

    It’s adorable but I can sympathize when she’s saying it in public! So she’s gonna end up with a potty mouth and a penchant for bad boys?

  9. malia

    Umm, yeah, been there, doing that!

    And for the love of all things good and decent, please, please, don’t ask Boo-boo to say in “fork” in public. I swear I don’t use the word that innocently comes from his mouth when he pronounces that word but the world just may think, “well, he had to hear it somewhere!”

  10. Oh, The Joys

    Caitlin ROCKS!

  11. mamatulip

    I so needed this laugh today. Please thank Caitlin (and the doctor’s shit) for me.

  12. Nicole

    I can tell you for certain that, at least in our household, the doctor’s shit stinks just as bad as any other.

  13. Ginger

    For the love of all things good and decent…my daughter messed up the word “fork” for weeks when she was about 3. Oh yes, it was a good laugh for all of my friends…I was mortified! lol

  14. Colleen

    OMG that is hysterical. My husband wants to know why I’m laughing so much.

  15. Holly Schwendiman

    ROFL - – - that’s too funny. My daughter would frequently ask me if a word was bad and several times she’d add a few extra syllables like “bull-a-sh**” – priceless stuff.

    Hugs,
    Holly
    Holly’s Corner

  16. Renee

    Shit, but that’s funny!

  17. Nancy

    Too funny. And it seems that “doctor’s shit” has many possible definitions in Caitlin’s mind… ;-)

  18. » Hump Day

    [...] This is one of those instances where I hope Caitlin doesn’t go to daycare and proclaim, “We’ve got the humps at our house!,” when her teachers ask her how her weekend was. Although it’s definitely not as bad as “doctor’s shit.” [...]

  19. » Negative Effects of Dora

    [...] And here I thought we’d left all this behind us. [...]

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