Mission Impossible? Katie’s Labor Plan
Let’s all send positive vibes to Katie Holmes as she is due any day now with baby TomKat. She’s converted to Daddy Cruise’s Scientology beliefs which dictates that she have a silent birth and that they have a silent period for seven days. Could you honestly not make any noise during labor? And during unmedicated labor? By the time my epidural kicked in when I was in labor with Caitlin (I ended up having an emergency c-section), I was practically speaking in tongues and had nearly broken the hubby’s fingers during the ride to the hospital. Although I have apparently blocked this from my memory, the hubby also says I used the “F’ word when the security guard asked me if I needed a wheelchair (hey it was 3 a.m. and I was dilated to 5 cm when we got to the hospital and I just wanted everyone to GET OUT OF MY WAY). I’ll admit I’m a wimp and I wanted drugs, although I have one friend who has had natural childbirth twice (but who says she definitely had to shout out during labor). Fellow Scientologist Kellie Preston tried to follow the strict guidelines, but after 13 hours of laboring at home she told Mr. Saturday Night Fever to drive her to the hospital where she could get some pain relief (but apparently it was too late). I’m not sure how accurate all this is, as it’s been making the tabloid rounds, but the TomKat contingency have had 6 foot black and white signs, called “birthing boards,” delivered to Cruise’s home. They are printed with messages such as “Be silent and make all physical movements slow and understandable .†In this article Daddy Cruise suggests that she can make “some” noise. I’d love to be a fly on the wall in the birthing room to see how long it is before Katie tells Tom to shut it.
I have no experience with natural childbirth, but I would think you would make some noise during the transition phase or when the baby is crowning. As my one mama friend who has birthed naturally, crowning gives new meaning to “Ring of Fire!” I’m just not clear on how they define “silent.” Maybe Katie can do some groaning or something toward the end!
