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I'm a 41-year-old mom to two girls ages 8 and 5 desperately seeking sanity. I'm an editor and social media coordinator in business publishing. My husband, a former beach bartender, founded MouseCalls Computer Services here in Nashville. We have two mutts, three crabs, two frogs, and too much laundry. Estrogen and wine flow freely here, so kick off your shoes and come on in!

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Dear Dust Mite Feces Research Man:

Thank you, once again, for making me paranoid about the germs lurking in my bed. I saw you on the Today Show this week and was morbidly curious about your latest insights into the world of microbes. Your interview with Oprah last year led to an impromptu trip to TJ Maxx and the purchase of four new pillows. But I really have enough on my stress palate without being reminded of the Petri dish of funk that I sleep with every night.

Signed,

Washing the Sheets in Hot Water As We Type

Dust Mite Man

5 responses to “Dear Dust Mite Feces Research Man:”

  1. R*belle

    Do you remember the commercial with the guy diving into the bed of nasty germs? ICK ICK ICK. I hate being reminded about germs. I mean, I know they are there, but really we co exist ok, I just don’t want to think about it.

  2. Bluegrass Mama

    Does your husband know that you’ve called him a “Petri dish of funk” in front of the entire Internet?

    Oh wait. Maybe you meant something else. I never watch those shows so I can remain blissfully ignorant.

  3. Lucinda

    Ha ha! I remember this guy on Oprah. I think about him a lot, too!

  4. Mari

    LOL! I also made a mad dash to Mervyn’s to buy pillows after the Oprah show…and the SPONGES, my Lord, the SPONGES!

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