I love my girls with all my heart and soul, but there are times when they wear on the delicate fabric of my nerves and I want to get in my car with no particular destination in mind and listen to AC/DC and drive with the windows rolled down and smoke a cigarette (and I don’t even smoke). Then I feel guilty because they wear on my nerves. Last week was a bit more guilt-laden as I started going back into the office and the baby started daycare with big sister. I had a marvelous hour-long lunch break last Tuesday ALL BY MYSELF LIKE A BIG GIRL running errands only to see every flawlessly cute and well-accessorized stay-at-home mom within a 50-mile radius out shopping with her adorable spit-up free baby (no stay at home mom I know looks that pulled together at 11:30 a.m. on a weekday…who are these women?) A co-worker and fellow mom reminded me that our office is located in the SAHM capital of our fair city, a boutique suburb where the average per household income is definitely in the Lexus end of the spectrum. But I enjoy working. I am proud of my career. I enjoy interacting with adults and completing projects that have absolutely nada to do with my kids. I am also proud to be a mom and I treasure the weekends with my family. The hubby usually works Saturdays until 4 which means I am home with both girls all day and I am home with the baby all day on Fridays. In the spring and summer we spend lots of time outside, but winter is a different story when runny noses and freezing temperatures often mean we are homebound. I then find myself COUNTING THE NANOSECONDS until the hubby gets home. (Read on …)

Caitlin: “Mama, I want a condo.”

Me: “You want what sweetie?”

Caitlin: “Anna condo.”

Me: “You mean an anaconda? A snake?”

Caitlin: “Yeah. Anna condo.”

We’ve been watching way too much Dora the Explorer.

It’s 9 o’clock on a Saturday night. I’m drinking a beer and surfing blogs and waiting with anxious anticipation for the hubby to come home with a freshly-burned DVD of the Battlestar Galactica premiere. Can you spell N-E-R-D-S?

Mrs. Flinger has a funny post about the “Lost Mommy Files”–the chronic forgetfulness and lapses in brain activity that happen so often after one has given birth. Most of my mommy brain malfunctioning occurs in the kitchen. I’m no Martha Stewart or Rachael Ray, although I do have a list of tried and true basic recipes that are very good. There was the time I added raw ground beef to chili mix when I was supposed to add browned ground beef. That was the day I learned I really can’t multi-task while cooking (or at least talk on the phone). There was the time I let the boiling water completely evaporate out of a pot when I was sterilizing pacifiers and they were melting to the bottom of the pan. There was the time I was making dip in a bread bowl and the recipe said to take it out of the oven after a certain amount of time and then cover it and put it back in the oven and I covered it completely with plastic wrap (which then melted into the dip). There was the time I threw away a rebate check my husband had been waiting for (not cooking related but I threw it away in the kitchen trash can.) There was the recent post-holiday incident when I nearly set our new toaster oven on fire. I’ve always been a little “blonde” around the edges and now that I’ve had two children my brain is permanently in the mom zone. (Read on …)

It’s official. I’m getting a new computer at work. Yea. Old Bessie locked up again several times today so I am excited to start working on an upgraded system. (You know…one that was made this MILLENNIUM.) Amelia had a much better experience at daycare today and spent more time crawling, pulling up, cruising, exploring, and playing than she did crying and wondering where the heck mommy was. Oh, and eating. Apparently she loves the daycare menu. I have to admit it’s been nice to have a cumulative 18 hours without wiping any bottoms. Everyone at work is potty trained. BONUS!

The fact that I’ve been working in sweats and lounge pants about 6 feet from my fridge for the past 8 months and the fact that I gained 5 pounds during the holidays is wreaking havoc on my fashionable return to the office (at least as far as pants go). It’s also motivated me to lose that 5 pounds! I’ve packed my walkin’ shoes for lunch.

The last song I heard in the car this morning and the first song I heard going home this evening was the Black Eyed Peas’ “My Humps.” I’m not sure what karma that was supposed to infuse in my soul the first day back into the office but I did do a little car groovin’ even if the lyrics are completely idiotic. The hubby and I went together to drop the girls off at daycare and the morning commute went smoothly and I was actually in my office by 8:15 to kickstart Old Bessie (my prehistoric computer). I finally gave in to my mother’s instinct and called daycare about 10:30 to check on Amelia. I have a reputation as being one of the non-worrisome moms at daycare (if they only knew!) so I didn’t want to call too early. Her teacher then told me Amelia was having a “rough time” and had been crying quite a bit and crawling to the doors (not good imagery to share with me). I then cried my eyes out at my desk for a good ten minutes (just long enough to wash away my eye makeup and turn my face and chest red and blotchy.) I had a lunch meeting with my boss and a co-worker at this place, although someone went a little too wild with the Teriyaki sauce on my order. (Read on …)